Time is a fickle crop; prone to disease, opinion, even experience. Sure you can prep the ‘garden’ for planting time and yet since time really does not exist the exercise involved in growing years is more of a gamble then a sure thing.

“Time must exist because years exist. You’re a fucking idiot Robin.”

See? This is the problem. You have people who believe in time, who believe you can grow a year. Many even believe you can grow decades, centuries and even millenia.

Take the illusion called United States of America. This ‘year’ the country celebrates a harvest of 250 years. Wow. 250 years which do not exist.

I could go on and on yet why waste the time? (Yes it is possible to waste what does not exist, just look at the world and it’s embracing of something else that does not exist, common sense)

So, what way have I grown this year? Well, if pissing on the year and then taking a huge crap on it helps it grow then I suppose that is something.

Daily writing prompt

What is one way you have grown this year?

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Easy answers are always easiest to write.

Regarding relations with animals commonly called bears, deer, dogs, cats, birds, etc. there are no boundaries. Let them fly, swim, crawl anywhere they want to include sitting on your head.

Regarding relations with humans commonly called white, black, yellow, green, pink, male, female, its, they, them, and those, there are definitely boundaries. The first and best boundary is to go off planet to live. The moon over earth, the sun, anyplace to include a floating garbage can is the best boundary.

Since most are unable go off planet then other boundaries must be made. So in simple order, the following.

1. Build a concrete wall twenty feet tall surrounding what you call home. Atop the wall embed shards of broken glass, steel spikes, rusty razor wire or anything that deters all but the most tenacious human from crossing.
2. In case the wall is breached then place claymore mines just inside the perimeter. Make sure you spray the explosive side with paint, preferably orange just in case a trespassing human enters and switches placement of the mine.
3. If the wall and mines do not deter the humans then depending on size of home and land home is on there are options of a water filled mote full of toxic sludge and mutant crocodiles. (mutant crocodiles can be purchased from Russia) Or if you don’t want a mote you might consider automatic machine guns or lasers. These can be operated by robots programmed to destroy any human while allowing bears, deer, dogs, cats, birds, etc. to enter.
4. If every boundary fails and you are over run by humans then as a last resort detonate a small nuclear suitcase devise (currently available for purchase from Iran)
5. After detonation you will no longer have to worry about anything other than dimension 13. Dimenstion 13 is a bitch and you don’t want to know about boundaries there.

Never

Nada

Humans can’t even live on Earth, can’t stop big rocks from space squishing them and for sure will never be allowed to travel the stars…unless… the change is complete, and at the moment that is highly doubtful.

it is good it is this way, makes sleeping all that more peaceful.

(clearing throat)

(inhaling and clearing the mind)

“Ninety nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety nine bottles of beer…Take one down, pass it around, ninety eight bottles of beer on the wall…”

(sip)

(exhale and inhale)

“Ninety eight bottles…”

Walk naked down the street carrying a fishing pole strung with fishing line and hooked to an empty can of beans all while wearing clown shoes. Clanging, dangling, banging…

Daily writing prompt

What’s the best way to build self-confidence?

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What’s that? Soul mates?

I thought the question was, “Do you believe in tomato’s”

Never mind.

A moment to question reality?

1. “Hello, I’m from the government and I’m here to help.”
2. “Abortion is health care.”
3. “Men can be women.”
4. “When a politician says trust me.”
5. “God does not exist.”
6. “When people say Zima is not beer.”
7. “Harboring thoughts that I’m smarter than my corgi’s”
8. “Seeing the reactions on peoples faces after telling them that yellow mustard on vanilla ice cream is good.”
9. Looking into the mirror and seeing sparkly lights
10. Wondering why women got the right to vote.
11. Wondering why I got the right to vote.
12. Realizing those who don’t like to eat spam are probably aliens.

And so many more.

Daily writing prompt

What’s a moment that made you question reality?

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1. Download the latest ten day weather forecast and derive copious amounts of potential degradation of potential weather events.
2. Hack into military satellites monitored by agent Barton to ensure no upcoming state sponsored terrorist events are ongoing, or likely to occur. (yep, a big one coming so no trip in the next ten days)
3. Completely overall the vehicle to be used for the road trip. Making sure all paperwork and documentation are in order for any potential border crossings.
4. Place all pets in a status of idle using cryogenic freezing and biological means to ensure complete harmony.
5. Engage a off world defense system to keep the ‘zombie’ wanna be(s) at bay.
6. After two hundred more items of checking and cross checking decide to cancel the road trip.

After realizing there is no such thing as a perfect road trip I decide to go to the local dump site and see if anyone has disposed of hazardous waste, dead animals, rafters shit bags, and hopefully score an unopened can of corn cast away by relatives closing out an estate.

Daily writing prompt

How do you plan the perfect road trip?

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“I eat tree bark and masturbate five times a day. I’ll live forever.” No. You will die early of pine beetle infestation and bruised genitals.”

“I live on soda, french fries, pizza, and jelly beans. I’ll live maybe until next week.” Yeah, maybe, but at least you’ll die happy.

“I eat whatever I want when ever I want and I’ll live forever.” Who are you?

“Me.”

Yep. No doubt. You will and will always live, forever.

Daily writing prompt

How can you build a regular fitness routine?

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