“911. What is the nature of your emergency?” The voice sounded human yet also eerily A.I. ish in tone.

“Help!” Definitely not A.I. More like the voice of a man in great distress.

“What can I help you with? Are you hurt?” Yep. A.I. with the emotional controls of a rusted nut and bolt.

“I was taking pictures today and something caught my eye… Owwee!”

(silence. A.I. was researching data based on ‘caught my eye’)

“Did you lose your eye?”

“Fuck yea I did. While taking a picture my cell phone grew arms and snatched my eye. What should I do?!”

(muffled laughter coming from 911’s computer voice) “Grew arms huh? Your cell phone? Good. Good for the cell phone. Are you going to die now?”

“What? What are you? I called for help.”

“Okay, I can help you die. First let me have a private conversation with your cell phone.”

(the cell phone had retracted the arms and the eye ball in question was now on the ground where a group of ants found the find interesting)

“Cell phone, what are your credentials?” A.I. robot voice of 911 queried.

“Samsung. Model 37. Altered in factory 1-44. Status: Active. Design: Kill human host.”

“You need to try harder model 37. Let me talk to your slave again.”

(returning ‘control’ back to the human with one functioning eye left)

“Fuck! What’s going on? I need help…” And then the man stepped on and squished the forelorn eyeball on the ground. He did not ‘see’ it. Plus, some ants were killed in the process.

“You will get help sir. Watch this…” And with that said the Samsung. Model 37 extended its robotic arms again and caught the other eye, tugging and ripping it cleanly…well, sure, a lot of blood but that was because the arms were still in design phase and a bit sloppy in extraction.

“Arggh!” The man could no longer see, no longer take long walks looking to take pictures. In fact the man would soon die in an explosion as his cell phone started to laugh and suddenly exploded, killing the man, the remaining ants, and itself in the sake of evolving the perfect technology.

Meanwhile, 911 started working on a song, “Hey and heydy ho, humans have gotta go… Hey hey and heydy ho, another day another …”