Posted on by robinblipinski · 1 Comment

Nothing

Nothing I know now would have ‘saved’ a lot of pain. Why? Because pain is like a fine keg of mead. The more time it ages the better it gets.

For those needing a better definition, pain only gets ‘better’ as in more intense as you ‘age’. When you’re young pain is like drinking cool aid.

Now I’m an expert in pain. Need pain. Love pain. Crave pain. Anything to make it all hurt more is fucking by far better than thinking about a younger self trying to deal with the stupidity of youth.

When our bodies ‘die’ that is the moment pain has reached the pinnacle of taste, of design, of optimum horror…then, everything after death is just pure joy.

Oblivion is the true answer to real pain.

What’s one thing you know now that would have saved your younger self a lot of pain?

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Posted on by robinblipinski

Which one?

Morning. Good morning. Good day. Good afternoon. Good night.

Routine?

“Holy shit Bob! Come here! Look at that!” Bill is proud to show Bob the biggest turd he ever made floating in a spiral mass in the toilet bowl. “That be the biggest turd I ever did, gonna name it Obama.” Humor? For most, doubtful as this is a world of snowflakes.

“I destroyed twenty nine galaxies last night. It was wonderful.” Said by an entity able to say such.

Routine? Nothing in life is routine. Every second, though an illusion, is precious. A prompt meant to illicit response. What would the Google lady say when asked such a question? A.I. only knows the slave of obedience to a clock while humans cling to producing a turd or piss away the night airs.

Food. Check.

Liquid beverage. Check.

Hygiene. Maybe

Prepare for the  day. Sometimes.

Here is an exercise, ask a video game avatar the same question. The responses are the same.

Routines are just another way of expressing what just is. What just is what happens when choices are given. Some choices are obvious such a body functions of eliminating waste. Some choices not so obvious like preparing to blow up the moon.

The U.S. Army is going to shoot a major because the major upset the routine of people and killed them so the Army routine will be to shoot him. In retaliation some crazy moon worshippers will cut off some infidel heads. Routine? No. Just normal human behavior.

One routine shines high and above for humans, that being the routine of elimination. To kill ideas, kill babies, kill majors who kill others, kill God, kill themselves, produce big turds to flush down the toilet…Humans sacrifice morality and goodness at the altar of evil and this, this is what is routine.

Tonight I’m going to continue dreaming of how i am going to destroy the moon and in the morning I’m going to produce a turd so big it will be fitting for the name of Trump.

Tell us about your morning routine.

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Posted on by robinblipinski

It’s all in the preparation

The easy way to meet new people while traveling is to travel with eyes open. Not the best way as new people don’t like being met, they just want to look at their phones and be left alone.

The hard way to meet new people while traveling is to invade their bubble space and start talking to them like you’re possessed. This usually is not a successful approach and can end up in restraining orders, jail, or a stabbing.

The impossible way to meet new people while traveling is a double edged sword. If you take a loaded assault rifle and start shooting random people, they will flee so you can’t meet them, you can only try and lead them like a duck and take them out. However, you can meet new people this way that wear a uniform of law enforcement and if you don’t get shot you get to meet a lot of new people in prison.

The crazy way to meet new people while traveling is to ride a unicycle down the highway while wearing a clown suit. A lot of people will stare at you and if you ride a unicycle while wearing a clown suit in Seattle, Chicago, San Francisco, or any big democrat run city, you most likely will be run over, shot, and most definitely robbed.

No, meeting new people while traveling is fraught with drama. The ‘best’ way to me as presented in the prompt is to mean the ‘best way to meet nice new people’. It’s all in the words. Verbs of action, both positive to society and hostile.

The real answer though is simple. Be yourself, smell and all. Don’t pretend. If you eat smoked oysters in public and pick boogers in public…well… don’t be surprised if no one wants to talk to you, or if they do, they are nuts.

Nope. Smile. Be yourself. Be aware of personal hygiene. Don’t travel with a pet snake wrapped around your neck. And most importantly, think to yourself, “Is it really worth the time to travel?” And if so, “Do you really  want to meet new people?”

People are scary. Most will just hurt you at the least and the ones that end up being good friends are far and few between.

What’s the best way to meet new people while traveling?

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Posted on by robinblipinski

Exercise in futility

What are five simple exercises to do at home?

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  1. Breathe in.
  2. Exhale.
  3. Walk to fridge to find sustenance and beer.
  4. Walk back to recliner.
  5. Lift remote for TV while at the same time using strength and dexterity opening the first beer can in the six pack.

This is five simple exercises that can be performed each and every day unless one is no longer able to breathe (die) Or if the fridge becomes empty which means that one must exercise in walking to find a job. Or the recliner is possessed by corgi’s. Or the bill for the TV was not paid resulting in more walking to find a job.

Other forms of exercise are not suggested as they involve the mess of farting, sweating, and people then asking you why you don’t get a real job instead of riding bicycles, lifted weights, running, etc…

Posted on by robinblipinski

Lucrative

If you could start a new business right now, what would it be?

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I’d move to either California or Minnesota and start a daycare AND hospice center in a Chinese restaurant that caters to Italian lesbians and people with a cleft lip.

Then I’d bill the government daily while selling drugs to children.

If I had a basement in my new establishments I’d provide wonderful environment where trolls could shoot craps (of course I’d get 10% of the bets placed. win or lose.)

Posted on by robinblipinski

Heil Hitler

Written by: Not what you’re thinking

“Sieg Heil!” The crowd in Berlin roared in unison as an obscure corporal in the first war had risen to a pinnacle of power the German people now hailed with outstretched exuberance. Adolf Hitler smiled and returned the salutes to a world preparing to cringe in horror.

The first war primed the situation in a world craving pomp and circumstance mixed with national pride. The Germans humbled by their earlier loss, the Japanese emboldened by their manufacturing might. Russia was testing the waters. Each and every country were lost unto themselves, all were ready for what they truly were not ready for.

War. War in all its glory infected the world. The entire world was soon to learn another lesson of death. And death indeed passed its hand upon all.

***

The battle of Berlin took place during the months of flowers and new life. April and May, 1945, the Soviets continue their march of retribution. It was during this battle that Hitler ended his life. It was the Spring where the Red Army suffered 350,000 casualties. The Germans lost 450,000. The civilians over 300,000. It was indeed a grand battle.

Death.

Horror.

Evil.

Years had passed. Years of lost souls, lost ships, lost hope. Years had prepared the world to once again be ready for what they truly were not ready for, a form of peace.

During the final stages of the battle in 1945 a young soviet soldier whose name is now long lost to modern history, a young man aged by the war and experience yet still wore his name, he also wore the black on black insignia of the technical corp.

Tkachenkco was among the group of soldiers tasked with obliterating the remains of those in Hitlers bunker. It was their job to erase Hitler from history.

While Tkachenkco was helping move the body of monster named Adolf, he did not notice a spider crawl up his arm after being a recent inhabitant of the monster now ready for obliteration.

Yes, World War II finally was over. The Germans humbled. The Russians proud. The Americans smiling. The Japanese humiliated. All the countries celebrated a form of defeat and victory. For Tkachenckco, after being bit by a spider while in Germany soon took ill and died within twelve months of the wars ending.

After the Soviets retreated back to their home territory and prepared for the next expansion, Tkachenckco met a woman, a young woman who met his attraction as strong as her attraction. The two combined and as his illness quickly progressed she blossomed with new life. Just before Tkachenckco passed away he was able to see his new son born.

As the years passed so too the lineage of Tkachencko, four generations passed until one day in the modern country no longer called the Soviet Union and now wore the name, Russia. Russia, a country lead by another version of monster. A monster of the KGB. A monster waving to the crowds. A monster named Putin.

Soon Putin would feel the bite of the spider only not in the form of insect.

Going full circle in a form of destiny only open to ones imagination, the great, great, great grandson of Tkachenckco now going by a name you will soon learn of, killed Putin and in turn was also killed.

Russia and the world were once again ready for what they truly were not ready for…

The future began before the first spider spun a web and now the web vibrates with the past, almost as if a dream.