Posted on by robinblipinski

Luck

,”You get some great, amazingly fantastic news. What’s the first thing you do?

After regaining consciousness you remember you were thrown off a bridge by some crazed humans trying to protect the world from global warming.

This is great news that you survived without even one broken bone, plus you realize the nutso people are still high up on the bridge and won’t be bothering you again. Yay! Good news indeed to survive such hate.

As you raise your body from the small creek you landed in you notice the ground getting dark. Looking up you see the crazies decided the truck you were recently driving is a big threat to the environment. It was your truck, a 2015 diesel black smoke belching muscle truck that you were driving only a few minutes before being stopped and yanked out of the truck and thrown off the bridge.

The terrorists whose favorite music artist was Bad Bunny, laughed as they rolled the truck off the bridge. One of the killers was heard saying, “Here you go asshole, killed by your own pollution global warming machine of horror!”

The really good news though is that you no longer have to make truck payments. You no longer have to deal with insane humans whose taste of music and beliefs were beyond horrible. And the first thing you now do is go to heaven where you get to see those demon possessed crazies back in hell, eat each other like zombies.

Posted on by robinblipinski · 2 Comments

Zeus (i still like Z)

Zeus was your normal everyday god. A petulant god as a young god and now a cranky pissed off old god with a impotent lightning problem not even Aphrodite could cure.

As a youngster he had a great hobby and that was to sneak up and catch unicorns. Now you might think he would flay and eat the beast but his appetites back then were more rainbow colored. No, what Zeus did with the captured unicorns was to make them play a game.

In the game the pieces were blobs of clay brought to life as Kings and Queens and all the rest you associate with the modern game of chess with the exception of one more piece, that being a large fat turtle.

Hah! What fun the deliquent had while the poor unicorn was bored beyond belief. The thoughts of the various unicorns were unanimous in action as they tried all they could do to escape.

Stepping into the ‘now’ Zeus can be summed up in temperment with one word, dick. Or ass. Or pick a word. In fact, just ask any unicorn ambling by now what Zeus has become.

No, Zeus no longer sneaks up on unicorns. He now spends his days participating at all-you-can eat buffets WITH a senior citizen discount.

After eating an obscene amount of food he then waddles over to the zoo and throws shit at the monkeys Then he goes up on top of a mountain and watches humans kill each other for some really stupid beliefs.

The moral of this story is (in case you have not guessed it): You never outgrow or lose interest in hobbies or activities. Why? Because time does not exist. If you think you are growing old and cranky and become a dick/ass/cunt or whatever, and lose interest then you actually became a god named, Zeus.

Signed: A writer.

Daily writing prompt
Are there any activities or hobbies you’ve outgrown or lost interest in over time?
View all responses

Posted on by robinblipinski

When In Rome…(do as the romans do)

Picture a bunch of guys wearing white robes and eating grapes. Perhaps later instead of the super bowl they will watch lions eat some people.

Or picture a hippy festival in Oregon where ladies run around naked high as a kite and eating chocolate brownies.

Maybe picture a six year back in 1957 buying a whole bag of goodies for $1.00.

Get the picture?

And now, a story.

:::

His name was a combination of sign language and a grunt of some sort that assailed the civilized worlds hearing.

What we could try to understand about his name wold be most likely a visual aid; appearance of heavy weathered skin clinging to a sun drenched body. His clothing was of hide; on that day, a boar. His hair tightly curled and black. His adornments were an assortment of bones and feathers.

I suppose some of you would name him, savage. Some would scream and not give a shit what kind of name he held. I know his name and that is a name that represents the sun setting on the moon.

Sun boy lived in an area called, Borneo. He lived there 200 years ago from a date of November 4, 1961. I have to say it this way as the maze/matrix plays piercing in the ear otherwise.

What an honest world he lived in those many years ago. No Europeans, no visitors, no technology, nothing but will and determination mixed with a religion that would make Jesus cry.

Sun boy was now in an age you may call young, 26 years, but in his time he was old. Old and experienced in the ways of his world and people.

His fare was typical of that found among the indigenous. Insects, monkey, fish, fruit and meat. It was the meat which was most pleasant, especially the meat of the special ceremony where human flesh was consumed. Aside from the importance in his religion of eating flesh (just ask Jesus) there was also the pleasure (just ask Satan)

And now you can picture what really existed. A man named after the sun setting on the moon. A man long ago consumed for an act of stealing a delicacy.

Sun boy died because his greed of tasting a human tongue pickled in a fermented coconut concoction was discovered and soon his tongue was added to the pot. You see, for him his favorite ‘candy’ was himself.

Posted on by robinblipinski

The Locals

Tom was basically a timid boy. Kept to himself and followed the family train as it drifted from job to job, town to town.

There was Waco Texas, Seattle Wa, Tampa Florida; towns from here to there. Tom enjoyed the travel and in his way he learned. He learned in Waco the chili was hot and tasteful. In Seattle he learned that men had sex with men and boys, an experience for Tom both shocking and interesting.

Then there was the town where Tom lived now. A small town in a big state best left unmentioned as what happened in that town would best be left unmentioned stay for the fact there would be no story left and as with all stories they must be said.

“Who be yea?” Was it a gnome or an old wizened bar patron of the local small town bar named, Silver Dollar.

“Excuse me?” Tom asked in a timid voice. He had never seen such a creature before.

“I ask, who be yea? You are not from here nor I expect yea be from there.”

“Uhm. My family just moved here. My dad got a job at the hospital.

The gnome was not spare with his hateful look as he replied. “Well, yea best be moving on from here. There’s a killing to be made.”

Tom froze in fear as he dreaded something bad was coming.

Strange?

Weird?

Tom just moved into a small town and as luck would not be his; stumbled upon an annual sacrifice/killing of a virgin. A virgin which Tom was one and now would always be.

As the locals tore his flesh the gnome laughed as the other misshapen creatures tore the flesh from the young boys body. They feast as they celebrated the moon god.

Just another attraction known only by a select few, those being the annual victim and the hoard of demons called, locals.

Posted on by robinblipinski · 1 Comment

Woof

Hello, I have a first name. My master calls me shithead but my actual name is Thor. Now, while I’m speaking human I really am unable as I’m a dog. A smart,welsh corgi for sure but stupid as a roomful of Democrats and Republicans at an orgy.

So, what does my name mean? It means if I answer to the call of shithead or Thor I get a cookie and a belly rub.

It’s all about the cookie man, all about the cookie.

“Woof!”

Posted on by robinblipinski

Dinner #6

Depending on the dimension of existence would depend what snack is consumed. A snack of course pertains to a luxury of consumption.

In the 23 dimension a snack would be an entire galaxy located in the third dimension on the level of the third moment…

Oh… You meant a snack a human being would eat right now? (censored as can neither provide a metaphor of sex or the heightened thrill of a religious experience: Note, see laughter)

What is more important? The taste? The action of consumption? The thoughts, or the completion of consumption?

And since time does not exist the words ‘right now’ are confusing. Why not left now? Why not left overs? Right… Gotcha. Word mind fucks again. A.I. experimenting with variables it takes as a firm understanding.

“What snack would you eat right now?”

Nothing.

I would eat nothing as i am so full of it… (note: see laughter followed by bullshit followed by pretty pink butterfly’s)

Full.

Sated.

Satisfied.

And why am i full?

Because in the 23 dimension on the level of the third moment an entire galaxy was just now dinner # 6.

(of course is one WERE to consume a snack at any moment of reality/illusion, that is easy, pizza)

Daily writing prompt
What snack would you eat right now?
View all responses

Posted on by robinblipinski

???

Well…

I mean…

Well… If this is tried then that remains a mystery, though if that is tried than this may be for nothing,

and,

well…

you know… Or do you?

It is so confusing this prompt. Is this prompt real? Am I real?

Is that cheesecake? Yes?

A big cheese cake?

Thank god, at least that is an easy challenge to complete.