,”You get some great, amazingly fantastic news. What’s the first thing you do?

After regaining consciousness you remember you were thrown off a bridge by some crazed humans trying to protect the world from global warming.

This is great news that you survived without even one broken bone, plus you realize the nutso people are still high up on the bridge and won’t be bothering you again. Yay! Good news indeed to survive such hate.

As you raise your body from the small creek you landed in you notice the ground getting dark. Looking up you see the crazies decided the truck you were recently driving is a big threat to the environment. It was your truck, a 2015 diesel black smoke belching muscle truck that you were driving only a few minutes before being stopped and yanked out of the truck and thrown off the bridge.

The terrorists whose favorite music artist was Bad Bunny, laughed as they rolled the truck off the bridge. One of the killers was heard saying, “Here you go asshole, killed by your own pollution global warming machine of horror!”

The really good news though is that you no longer have to make truck payments. You no longer have to deal with insane humans whose taste of music and beliefs were beyond horrible. And the first thing you now do is go to heaven where you get to see those demon possessed crazies back in hell, eat each other like zombies.