‘Name ten things you know to be absolutely certain’

First, if an illusion is really an illusion than all is an illusion and nothing is certain

Second, up is never up if shown by a hand pointing ‘up’ and over the head while hanging from a tree branch up-side-down

Third, I know i have have the wind as a friend and the wind has my back as it pushes me off a cliff.

Fourth, when hearing the words, “Trust me,” run.

Fifth, when hearing the words, “I don’t believe in lawsuits,” run faster

Sixth, when a woman asks, “How do you think I look in this dress?” take a rocket ship up into space and escape Earth.

Seventh, when any government official shows up at your door and says, “I’m here to help,” pretend you’re having a heart attack but make sure your hand grasps your wallet as you ‘die’.

Eighth, one plus one does not equal two.

Ninth, there really is nothing true about human intelligence

Tenth, pizza is a perfect food.

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Now, after writing that shit the truth of the matter is this. Every creature, every form of life, everything knows with absolute certainty what it is…

and to prove a point: An example

A man tells a Welsh Corgi dog the following words with utmost certainty

1. “No”

2. “No”

3. “No”

4. “No”

5. “No”

6. “No”

7. “No”

8. “No”

9. “No”

10. “No”

And the corgi in return, in no uncertain terms or mishearing, hears

1. “Yes”
2. “Yes”
3. “Yes”
4. “Yes”
5. “Yes”
6. “Yes”
7. “Yes”
8. “Yes”
9. “Yes”
10. “Yes”