I can’t tell you that my safe combination is 13-47-69. I also can’t tell you that you turn the safe dial to the left three times stopping on the first number and then turn the dial two times to the right and stopping on the second number. Then turning the dial to the left stopping on the third number. Then turn the dial to the right and open the safe.

I can’t tell you that because that’s what I do each and every day to check on my hoarde of gold.

I can also not tell you that I love to wear green and play with rainbows and shamrocks.

And I definitely cannot tell you that I’m a Leprachaun. Fuck no, because if I did you’d want me to grant you a wish or else you’ll squish me with your big feet.

So, what CAN be said about one of my daily habits is that I take a good shit each and every morning like clockwork. And I can tell you it looks like a colorful rainbow.