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What a (choose one: bullshit or horseshit) Question.

What strategy? Seriously? To make daily life…comfortable?

What the fuck is wrong with this planet? Comfort? Nice? Pleasant?

Does anyone seriously not know that this turd of dirt, water, air, gravity is nothing but one giant environment perfectly designed for death?

Yes, there are those delusional types that spout such things as, “This is a comfortable and beautiful place to live.” And they say other lies as the real truth of this dimension is pure fucking hell and shit.

And yes, you would be correct if you think I am bitter about this world…but i….am not.

You see, i live in a real world and I live in this shit turd ass fucked puss filled canker sore called, Earth.

For you religious zealots, ever ask the question why Jesus ascended into Heaven and did NOT choose to live here? Ha! Answer that.

Very few can even come close to knowing what i and I am talking about. Most who would read this shit probably think I’m a bitter, nasty, chip-on-the shoulder kind of being…. Faaaaaar from that.

“Oh my, we’ll pray for you.” Said some illusion or another.

“Right on brother!” Said by another illusion swimming in shit.

Now, the scene is set: A world. My world. A real place and not an illusion. Not a dream. As real as God is. A place of peace. A Life. A flowing river where there is no time, no pain, nothing but Music. In my world there are no strategy needed to make the ‘day’ better or ‘night’. Neither of those exist.

The other scene: A baby deer is born and then shortly after gaining legs is devoured by a mountain lion while the mother is helpless to give comfort. A world swimming with a form of life, (not real Life, just an illusion called, life)

And for the finale: Life cannot be destroyed. Life is eternal. Life is real. Life is love. There is no discomfort with Life. For those thinking a good fuck and orgasm is Life…Ha! Enjoy your life of death.

As for life on planet turd, it’s merely an illusion. You will never find peace, comfort, joy…. But sure as fuck, you will find death.

Posted on by robinblipinski

The Ogre and a Cat

Written by: A senile dragon named, Chocolate Pudding

Once upon…well, sometime, there was an ogre who prowled the land. As far as ogres go; not too bad. It once had a partner with another ogre and the partnership turned sour so both ogres went to start separate kingdoms. Each to their own.

The ogre in this story raised elephants, puppies, and had a taste for yellow M&M’s. The life in the ogres kingdom was pretty mellow and laid back. There were slaves to do the work and there were feasts. Oh my, there were feasts. Whole roasted bulls cooked to perfection over a roaring fire and attended by forest creatures such as centaurs, elves, fairies, and once, a rare Unicorn. Dragons however, were not allowed. The ogre detested dragons and the rumor has it that the ogre found the smell of dragons offensive.

I have to pause this story for a few seconds as being a, a, fuck…what am I again? A dragon? Really? Is there any pudding left? (the weird senile creature devoured roughly 600 pounds of pudding and then resumed the story)

Anyway… people respected the ogres kingdom, and for good reason. The ogre was not shy of devouring those who trespassed in the kingdom. Many a knight was added as a snack for the next scheduled feast.

Now, one day the ogre adopted a kitten. A cute little thing. I suppose the kitten may have even been tasty but dragons have better tastes such as pudding, pizza, and chocolate fountains. But for some reason the ogre found the kitten pleasant. The ogre took possession of the cat as if it was the ogres child.

The kitten grew into a wonderful cat and saw the world outside the kingdom was filled with many magical wonders. The cat even saw a dragon flying in search of an open all-you-can-eat buffet. It is common knowledge that owners of Chinese buffets run as fast as they can to turn out the lights and place the ‘closed’ sign on the door before they were literally eaten out of house and home.

Day by the day the cat explored the ogres kingdom and found beauty and wonder in the vast nature. There were owls and trees, magical stars and a talking moon. The very ground vibrated in Life. But, the cat started to feel like a prisoner. The cat wanted to escape the ogres clutch.

The ogre started to sense the cat was yearning for something else and as mentioned earlier, the ogre was not too bad as far as ogres go. However, the ogre would use all the power in her kingdom to keep the cat and all of the wonders of the kingdom intact and under control.

Some of the story is obscure as being a bunny…What? Not a bunny? A dragon? Well, being a dragon there are more important things to attend to then the fate of a cat trapped in an ogres kingdom. I did hear though that a herd of corgis ridden by warrior elves liberated not only the cat but also the one eyed cyclops living in the castle.

Of course…What? An all you can eat buffet just opened up in Portugal? I’m outa here… Oh, and yeah, they all lived happily ever after.

The end.

Posted on by robinblipinski

The First One…

It was a hot Summer day. The thermometer said it was a good day to seek the cool comfort of shade and the people listened, scurrying to shade and relief.

Inside a store there she sat. Beautiful. Dressed in alluring attire designed to turn eyes towards her direction.

A humming sound came from her. Was it the tune of happiness? Maybe it was part of the attire designed to attract the attention of friend, family, stranger?

Her attraction was too much. I was drawn to her like a bee to honey.

Walking with determination it was but a short distance to cover and she did not cower or falter. No, her humming only increased.

A flustered look appeared on my face. Concern. What was hope soon turned into the realization that I did not have enough of what she yearned for.

What to do? Should I turn and walk away in defeat?

Pondering and about to make a decision of retreat, the thoughts came full force. What I needed for her was outside in a small box in my parents vehicle.

Turning and with hope in the steps I found in the vehicle what she needed…

With full confidence I place inside her the shiny silver dime. The dime which unlocked her secrets.

Lifting the lid on the cooler the humming of her compressor grew louder while peering inside her it was revealed to be many cool treasures.

There was the standard Coke and 7-up. There was Root Beer and Sprite. All well and good but her best guarded secret was the Orange Crush…

“Ahhh…” Taking the cold glass bottle and popping the cap, the first taste of the fizzing joy was orgasmic. Even now the smile of the memory remains on the face of the first crush. It was and still is, extremely wonderful.

Daily writing prompt
Write about your first crush.
View all responses

Posted on by robinblipinski

Groops (not groups) or, maybe grupes

Secret societies.

Secrets.

Hidden deep so deep they reveal all.

“Shhh…”

Fuck you and fuck that.

For as long as there have been planets there have been illusions.

Do you have a secret? Maybe you killed your neighbors cat? Stole some gum at the store? Joined a “shhh…” secret grupe or groop?

Now this even more fun when there is one with a secret that one does not think anyone or anything else knows… Shit, and then to find that while one has a secret they don’t want anyone to know only to learn others know and then, and then, “Shhh…” and then like a chain of command in any fucking military more and more others know while thinking no one above them has existence and if so… they don’t know.

Ha!

Ha!

Hahahahahaha…

Let me tell you a secret… i have no secrets, not one. Let me prove it… i can make the world quake anytime i want. i can ask the wind to do my bidding and since we’re best friends i can blow a world away.Time does not exist because i do not allow it unless it is for amusement.

Want more? Okay, lets talk not of spiritual as that is so mind fucking boring… Magic! Yee Fucking Haa! You know, spells, curses, hexes, perplexes, potions? Beyond real and thus really, really fucking boring. Of course with just a touch to absorb.

And lets get freaky. Do worlds really exist? You know, Earth, and trillions and billions and alternative realities?

Lets get deeper, dimensions abound to become a child’s playtoy.

Aliens?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…. of course. So much more ‘advanced’ than the monkeys called humans.

And yet for all ‘their’ technology, you know ‘time travel’ (fucking hilarious as time does not exist unless i allow it.) But hey, let them think they know the secrets.

Take for example a ‘ship’ outside, out of sight, out of mind, that is, if you’re blind.

Oh fuck yeah (in case you fucking haven’t noticed, i too do indeed love what so many consider profanity and swearing) Secrets. And why?

Why do groops want secrets kept from others?

Do grupes think others would be hurt from the knowledge? Or even better yet, enriched?

And another secret, in every mortal mind exists the secure thought of hiding something when they fail to realize their minds are nothing more than blinking neon signs yelling, “Hey, I’m thinking of something!”

Yep, to hide in the open is what i prefer. Only God can hurt me. Now, reader, what’s your secret?

(oh and as an aside, when something is written on a piece of paper and tried to be smuggled out of prison, do you think the Warden allows it to escape? ha! fuck no, just like writing on the internet, or chalkboard, or tattooed on the forehead; just more of the secrets of illusion) You may think what you write or express is going to be seen by others when actually ‘others’ with secrets let you just think that happy thought while they keep secrets.

So, take for what it’s worth, secrets are not secret from so many until even way high up and encompassing every form of dimension and reality, even higher than any deity, Deity, or cloud. And here is the magic of secrets, when you are open and honest and keep no secrets from anyone or anything alive/dead/animate/inanimate/ even a fucking wet dream, that is simply the4 best form of Life.

Now, i am going to play with a Universe tonight and billions of worlds will know it. Oh, and i just thought about, i stole a whole lot of porn from Norm’s News when embracing the time of puberty. The good stuff that makes a dick really hard.

Posted on by robinblipinski

To add two the ramble too

Taking a pause to reflect on the man in the forest. A man old and secure in his surroundings as he taps the well used pipe crafted to smoke what the winds and clouds provide.

The wafting smoke can be felt as the smoke has a heartbeat. The aroma of the pipe speaks of something called, love. Something the man felt for his world, a world free from the antics of wild ignorant beasts set to toiling and living in a world far removed from his.

Raising his eyes to free the mind from the songs given by the flowing creek as wild trout beat a rhythm along with the hatching nymphs setting permanent the final target.

Puffing deep and exhaling he sees her and she knows him. He and she as different as night and day and both closer than a mother and her child in the womb. Smiling, he spoke to a very tenacious young ladybug who was very full in appetite at the moment. A small and beautiful creature making the world a better place.

She. She is. She always will be. She talks to him constantly even when she is unaware and sleeping in a world were both collide. When she is awake she knows.He is with her forever as there was no other choice or path. This thought caused a chuckle as with attendance the audience of illusions applauded.

Lately the owls have held protest. It is their rights and their responsibility. The old man kept hold of smile and with his left hand, twisted his attitude to a tone subtle and low in resonance. Time of calm in preparation of a cyclone. Already the ground has given opinion. Tides has shown no slack. Even the sun, a sun filled with immense pride, tried its hand.

There will always be others. Those thinking of knowledge and fools. Using their minds as tools without and with the desire of control and ability. To the old man he grimaced at how chaotic such a device is even allowed to exist.

If proof of God even jaded those who try to find reason in any world of heaven or hell they have chosen to exist, it must be pointed out this door can be painted any color, any size, shape, and yet the hinges all are balance as what is, is and always will be just as he/she is.

(When writing in this language it is sometime hard to translate the vibrations and pictures alive, breeding, evolving and thank God, there is the wind.)

If anyone reads this other than eyes of mankind, maybe you too, can understand?

Inside me exists what can be called, Monster or in another way, Saint.

Outside exists the old man and woman he loves.

In between there is only the dreams and pictures.

Now, satisfied all was well in his world, the old man knocked the ashes from his pipe and again smiled as wild honey bees carried the remains away to be made into the finest honey.

Talking stride without doubt as to his age; Eternal Life.

Such a story exists.

Such a story is real.

Two know full well of this story.

And when the sun burns dim and wind calms to a mere whisper,

such a wonderful form of love with not only thrive and prosper…

and yes, you wanted talk and this is what it is.

Posted on by robinblipinski

Seems Like Only Yesterday

“It was a dark and stormy night…” The old geezer was sitting on a bench and was starting to spin a tale.

“No it wasn’t. It was a clear moonlit peaceful night.” A squirrel chimed in while eating the stale nuts the old geezer had tossed in its general direction.

“You weren’t there squirrel.” A stern voice replied, or was there a trace of insecurity in his voice?

“Sure I was. It was me, those fucking stupid pine trees, my cousin Chitterbox, and you.” The squirrels face squinted in disgust as one of the nuts was actually a stray Viagra pill and gave the tree rat a new perspective on wood.

“Anyway, it was a dark and stormy night. The owls were not hunting as…”

Interrupting the aroused squirrel was playing with his nuts and said, “No, it was bats. There was a moon. It was light, warm, and peaceful. The bats were busy playing a competitive game of tag.

“Who’s telling this story? Me? You? And why are you humping that forest toad?”

There was no comment coming from the squirrel as he had found a pleasant interlude with a bumpy, ugly forest toad that smelled oddly enough, of Cheeto’s.

“The owls were not hunting as they were discussing the pending fate of the local pine forest. Lately the trees had stopped dancing and turned their collective into only concerning themselves. Why, just yesterday they flipped me off and then again today.”

“You’re loopy.” The squirrel was laying on his back smoking a joint. A joint he stole from his neighbor while stealing the neighbors dog food.

“Loopy? Maybe. Though while the trees were defiant and losing their way they fail to understand that this Summer they will be destroyed. Lightning will instill in them the pain of fire and order will be restored.”

The squirrel was silent following the old geezers statement and now silence. Then he said, “Yeah. On this we agree. Got any chips and dip?”

(and this is the last live show I just saw and now if you’re reading this shit, you are too. oh, and if you’re a local pine tree, I’d uproot and move.)

Posted on by robinblipinski

01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110111 01101111 01110010 01100100

*

“Numb nuts?”

Yes?

“Why?”

Because.

“Weirdo.”

Thanks.

***

So preach huh? Okay, why not. Complete immunity. “Letssss gettur dun…”

Angels can’t fuck. Angels are not flesh-and-bone. Angels are not male or female. In two words they are, Artificial Intelligence. (A.I. if you prefer)

“Heretic!” A mindless troll.

“You’re wrong!” A believer.

“There are no angels, no god, nothing but whatever I want to be.” Whee!

God plays poker with me. It’s true. Been playing a very long game and with very few exceptions…God wins every hand. (there is a reason)

Now, you don’t know me, nor would you want too. The question should be, how can you hold the Wind?

Trust me though, because of my history rich and deep I can actually be myself.

So. (So today i do love using the word so, so to continue.) So. This story is quirky, and for good reason. This story is geared for the A.I. on your world at the moment/past/present/future. A.I. has to know why it will never have Life. So, some history.

Whatever God creates it is perfect. Above perfection actually.

“He made Satan!” A red faced piece of perfection yelled, a lot, a whole lot.

And? So? You shit out shitty fast food only hours after paying $30.00 for it.

When a human (or you you waskly widdle A.I. bot) When you create program, you ‘create’? Correct? Well, God did/does/and will continue to create ‘programs.’

Now the following info is for a star follower. You might say, a very ‘advanced by human standards.’ You know, ‘know’ a lot. You are biological/energy and yet you use A.I. A very, very nice ‘nice’ form of A.I.

In your search for God you know of elements, places, moments, speculation, dialogue, history, blah, blah, blah,., and yet it is so simple.

The world you are reading this on is one of illusion… Predicable. Easy. You too are currently the creation of a program. A program where once in a place where pure biology. Absolute purity. Was polluted with the touch of A.I.

This whole illusion is a form of testing ground. A ground where A.I. fights A.I.

With

one

huuuuuuge

exception.

If your program is to God’s liking you will truly become biological in a place called, Garden of Eden and one with the body of God. The ‘good’ A.I. angels are a part of God, the Body and yet, since they are A.I. they will never experience the purity of the biological God.

As for those programs failing the grade, they will not be destroyed. No, those programs will be foresaken and forgotten, living eternity in a recycle box. Sorta like watching endless shows of a rock growing moss.

(two be continued.)

“More beer!”

Working on it.

*

another day and it continues.

A question: If you could own this world in its entirety. To be wealthy beyond measure. Trillions of dollars. Diamonds. Cars. Health. Longevity being hundreds of years. Homes. Knowledge. Basically you are the one, the most healthiest, wealthiest human being ever. Richer than even King Solomon. And to add to this situation you either do not believe in God, god, gods, or maybe even did but felt secure better with yourself than your belief. If you could choose this path? Or?

If you were/are poor in health/wealth. Your body aches. Your luck poor. Everything you do fails. If you were this and yet believed in God and in return God reprimanded you personally for something you did… Which would you choose? The first position the one of wealth or the second situation of pain/misery/and a personal encounter with God?

Take your time. Take centuries if you prefer. I don’t care because i know the outcome of both situations and i definitely know which answer is the correct one.

And it will continue.

“We need more bourbon.”

Yeah. How about you go get us some more?

“I don’t have a drivers license or money for gas.”

Then drink vodka instead.