What’s the best thing you’ve ever found randomly on the street?

Some fun inspiration though first a look at the words

What is: Question. Query. Attempt of gaining answer.

Best: Opposite of the worst. Worthy of being a trophy or fantastic moment/object/emotion

You: (have) Your actions combined with the other words in the sentence to form foundation in conversation.

Random (ly): Act of description. Pertaining to an action/thought/motion made without planning or forethought.

Street: Mostly an image of a paved public right of way. Sometimes gravel. Sometime nothing more than a name on a survey plat.

***

Space Folly

Written by: An adolescent space traveler.

“Gleep gleep glug gloop,” The translation is a bit difficult yet the intent was obvious if you could see a being we shall give the name of Bob. Bob was a young being whose body looked like multiple folds of thin and very colorful skin. For most humans, a strange looking insect.

“Gleep gleep glug gloop,” Again the sounds came only this time in a higher pitch and tone. Bob was asking his ship to produce more mind altering drugs and the ship replied, “Nic nic, gleep gleep,” which meant, “No.”

Being that Bob was young, so very young, not even a million earth years old his immature attitude kicked in, “Moc Moc! GLEEP GLEEP GLUG GLOOP!”

“Nic Nic…”

(the following banter between the ship and Bob will not be presented as it was a monumental battle of wills and also the translation is not meant for such tender ears of humans)
***

“Noc noc?” Bob asked the ship if there was anymore lclc, (a form of rare mineral candy)”

While the ship was distracted trying to find the hidden lclc, Bob took control of the ship and pressed a big gooey button. This button kick started the star drive only the drive had no coordinates. A star drive engaged without any real directive can result in some really random strange stuff.

“NIC NIC! Tis goop pap!” The ship instantly turned it’s attention back to Bob but it was too late. The button had been pushed, the star drive engaged and Bob went, “WHee!” (translation: Whee!)

Imagine now, a being looking like a shiny cross between a butterfly and a pile of pure white marshmallows traveling one million times faster than the speed of light (impossible? Nope) Imagine this ship ‘popping’ into an orbit between Earth and the moon.

While the ship regained control of itself Bob beamed down to the planet as he was up for an adventure. Plus the sensors on a machine in his brain told him there were mind altering drugs on the planet. Drugs strangely similar to ‘gloop’.

And while Bob was gliding around above a city called Seattle his body hit a seagull which caused him to fall and land on a street named after some politician long dead.

Obama street. And what a street it was. Covered in human excrement and used ‘gloop’ needles. It was ‘Acktick!’ (Bob’s heaven)

And there, just before his multiple eyes was a whole bag of unused gloop. Gloop recently dropped in terror by a drug dealer named Omar Tinsk. (Tinsk actually crapped himself as he dropped the drugs and ran off screaming)

With his shimmering tendrils now deeply snug in possession of the gloop, Bob beamed back up so very proud and happy he had stumbled on this strange planet and without any trouble at all and with great help from his contact with a seagull, he had found some really, really, REALLY good drugs!

“WHee!” (translation: Whee!)

The ship received Bob back and muttered, “Bli Ca Ca…” Translation: ‘Boys will be boys…’

U.s. vS aUsraLiA

So parasite. Friday. Soccer. Who is gonna win the game between the red/white/blue robots and the flip flopping kangaroo people afraid of guns?

“What? Kangaroos, guns, robots… Oh, yeah, been awhile and I almost forgot you are retarded. So obviously you are referring to the world cup. I hate soccer and last night a dolphin from Miami Florida stole my binky.”

So no opinion on whose gonna claim the title Friday of playing with their balls better?

“Nope. However, if I were to bet I’d bet the hookers will win as they will be busy during and after the game.”

Not helpful and yet so you parasite. As a consolation prize though I have a new binky for you as I knew those dolphins were planning revenge for what you did to them last year when you stole their stash of strawberry jam.

“Seriously? You are going to be nice to me? (the parasite looked perplexed though it’s hard to tell if a purple blob is capable of be perplexed, horny, or constipated)

Yep. Here you go.

(silence)

“This is a jar of pennies? What the fuck am I going to do with a jar of pennies?”

Suck on them. Those pennies have been places you’ve never dreamed of. Some I found on the ground outside the convenience gas station store, some I found while cleaning out clogged sewer pipes. I swear you will find sucking on these will taste and comfort you WAY more than any chinese made rubber nipple.

(was that a smile on the parasites face? nope, definitely gas and the emitting smell proved thus)

“Thanks dude. You want to suck on one?” The parasite offered a particularly nasty looking 1964 penny minted in Denver dangling of a tentacle.

Nope. All yours. Gonna go watch the saudi sand moles kick balls at uragay.

“Whatever.”