How To Play Golf

Written by: An Expert

Golf is a great game. Many famous people play golf. There is Moses, Attila the Hun and even our local celebrity, Bob, who own an actual mini-golf club. A very hard club to get into as the doors are usually locked while Bob is sleeping off a whisky drinking game.

Anyway, golf is an easy sport. It involves a stick, a ball, and ample supplies of profanity and whisky. If you play golf with Bob he usually brings extra whisky.

The object of golf is the same age old quest of many a man; to put something small into a hole. Many men spend lots of time trying to put a ball into a hole and will drink a lot of whisky and swear like a sailor until the ball is either lost in the woods or ends up in a hole of some sort.

Honesty is the most important aspect of the game. Precise tally of how many times it takes to hit a ball into a hole is the holy grail of sportsmanship. Rarely does anyone lie about how many times they hit the ball. Ironically a lot of politicians play golf and they usually utter nothing but lies.

Women play golf also. Some are very good golfers. Some women though discovered a golf stick (club some say, mainly neanderthals)some women discovered that swinging a club against their male friends car, those men who drink too much whisky and end up feeding money in a strippers thong.

There. Easy peasy.

Just drill a hole in the ground. Get a good strong stick and some balls. Any balls will work. Tennis balls, ping pong balls, and most balls with the exception that basket balls and bowling balls should only be played in golf by neanderthals who then use a club.

So get out there and enjoy all the honesty and pleasant folk who will say nice comments about your game, “You suck! It’s better you stop and let us play through!”

(now, if golf is not for you there are always a good sport of visiting an opium den)