Changing a tire on a space ship

Written by: (a strange and weird thing)

(((So, There. That’s better. Anyway, a short story which slapped me today. Literally.

Now, ((( ((( still talking in the first place ))) ))) I was going to name the character in the story, Bob. Bob is a simple name for a simple species. Though, the humans do have an occasional intelligent one. Look at you for example, you made it this far in the story so it is obvious you’re very intelligent.

;another now

Now,while Bob can be read forwards and backwards, it can also be spelled up-side-down AND left to right. So, the character won’t be Bob. Maybe I’ll write a story for pine bugs and use the name? No, it will me a more nuanced and common name, a name fitting for fool or king. Richard. Richard it will be.)))

A grand ship sat towering over prairie filled with dust, rock and now the beauty of a actual giant sized space ship.

Space ships have existed for the time before the second time of the third coming. Not earlier though, no sirree. Before space ships and time there was peace. Actual real peace.

“What are you doing?” A strange question now as a man named Richard happened upon the scene of dust, rocks and a grand space ship obvious to anyone within fifty miles.

The grand space ship took all the attention though. Tall and spiraling towards the sky. A metallic sheen caused the Sun to sparkle in reflection. Support fins nestled firmly into the dust and rocks were a clean sharp black directional fin. Blacker than the soul of To’lr. Yes indeed the ship was truly grand which made Richard noticing a small figure standing at the base of one of the black fins a bit strange.

“I’m changing the tire,” The figure replied, a figure named, Bob.

“That don’t look like no tire. Looks like a black fin blacker the the soul of To’lr. Looks like a space ship, a grand one at that!” It is obvious Richard was an intellectual that knew the difference between a tire on an automobile and a directional fin on a grand spaceship.

“No. It may appear to be a fin on a space ship and to you that is what it appears to be, (damn I’m inspired by Kamala)though you have not yet seen the dimensional circles the fins leave while traveling through space and time.” Bob was starting to be almost as intelligent as Richard. Almost.

“Mmm…ya don’t say. Well I suppose what with the dimensional circles being distorted by the curvature of space/time. Maybe it could be a tire.” The look Bob gave Richard now proves Bob is the rocket scientist.

To continue the winning streak of intelligence Richard further added, “Say Bob. How is it you have a grand space ship? You do know that Earth does not have such technology. So how did you end up flying this, or do you fly it?”

With a sigh Bob said, “Yes I fly it and no I did not find it, it found me.”

Respect. Richard was now impressed.

“What do you mean find you? Did it land and grab you and force to learn to…how to fly… What? How did you learn how to fly a space ship?” And now the back and forth of ???

“Well, not much of a story really. I was out tending to my garden when this big ship landed and grabbed me. And then it connected with me.” A look of pain, which could be construed for a grimace, appeared on Bob’s face.

“Connected? As like in your brain?” Richard was mesmerized by the intelligence of Bob.

“No, as in my ass. See?” Turning around Richard gasped as he saw a long tube coming from Bob’s anal area and connect to the black fin.

“Yes, I expect you to be surprised. I know I was sure surprised. Anyway, we did a trade, the ship and me. The ship would teach me a whole lot of stuff AND I will never die.”

Interrupting Robert asked, “But why the ass? Why not connect to the head, or shoulder, or anything other than your butt hole?”

And this is now where it all makes sense. And I was going to let Bob finish but fuck it, apple moonshine, yikes!

Oh, one last thing, the space ship was connected to the human via the anal area of Bob because Bob produced the grand bio excrement that any space should could desire, this is why the space ship is so grand. The ship uses Bob’s crap to build microbotic life capable of giving the human, Bob, immortal life. (that’s a whole other story)

And as an extra feature bonus: While Bob and the ship traveled and enjoyed each others company, the ship gave one grand bonus, that being, to give control of where and when the ship flies to.

The End

A fucking wooden waterwheel??.

More shine!

Moist Juicy Sex…or, beat yourself with a tree branch

Humans are a randy and horny lot, they have to be otherwise no children would be born and the species would have disappeared a long time ago and probably replaced with some horny horny toads.

So, you like fucking? Do you think about it daily? Do you masturbate while thinking about anything from juicy fruit gum, other humans, or anything your imagination can conjure?

Whee!

Or, do you beat yourself with a tree branch while muttering, “I’m not worthy. I’m not worthy.”

Ha! It does not matter what you do or choose or practice because you will do what you do and no one is going to stop you. Sure, they may try. Some might even beat you with tree branches for playing with your dick or pussy (vagina/penis, who gives a fuck) “Me! Me! I like to fuck!”

From those who believe in God, god, gods, and juicy fruit gum… they are no different than those who believe in nothing or that tree’s have souls. When it comes to the physical body of humanity…it is all a giant game of fuckfest.

Now yesterday I wrote about A.I. becoming something very different. Some can imagine tactile sensory interface between physical/machine. Robot fucking machines fucking other robots and humans…

Human/machine. Machine/human. Bullshit/bullshit. (and Oh Shite!)

And now a question for you. is sex nothing more than the brain playing with chemicals attuned to the nervous system? Smells? Thoughts? Taste? Pleasure/pain? And why can’t A.I. ‘ever’ experience the Joy of Sex?

Love? Will A.I. ever love? Nope. Unless… No, that would mean a successful mating of human and machine… Huh? Imagine that.

Currently it has been proven that there can be a primitive interface between computers and the human brain.

An abomination of human and machine joined in mental physical AND procreation?

Oh yes, it is fun to see the future as if it was only yesterday. And so, since I like fun and sex, i am fully aroused to peak behind the curtain of past/present/and a fucking weird future…

The Ogre and a Cat

Written by: A senile dragon named, Chocolate Pudding

Once upon…well, sometime, there was an ogre who prowled the land. As far as ogres go; not too bad. It once had a partner with another ogre and the partnership turned sour so both ogres went to start separate kingdoms. Each to their own.

The ogre in this story raised elephants, puppies, and had a taste for yellow M&M’s. The life in the ogres kingdom was pretty mellow and laid back. There were slaves to do the work and there were feasts. Oh my, there were feasts. Whole roasted bulls cooked to perfection over a roaring fire and attended by forest creatures such as centaurs, elves, fairies, and once, a rare Unicorn. Dragons however, were not allowed. The ogre detested dragons and the rumor has it that the ogre found the smell of dragons offensive.

I have to pause this story for a few seconds as being a, a, fuck…what am I again? A dragon? Really? Is there any pudding left? (the weird senile creature devoured roughly 600 pounds of pudding and then resumed the story)

Anyway… people respected the ogres kingdom, and for good reason. The ogre was not shy of devouring those who trespassed in the kingdom. Many a knight was added as a snack for the next scheduled feast.

Now, one day the ogre adopted a kitten. A cute little thing. I suppose the kitten may have even been tasty but dragons have better tastes such as pudding, pizza, and chocolate fountains. But for some reason the ogre found the kitten pleasant. The ogre took possession of the cat as if it was the ogres child.

The kitten grew into a wonderful cat and saw the world outside the kingdom was filled with many magical wonders. The cat even saw a dragon flying in search of an open all-you-can-eat buffet. It is common knowledge that owners of Chinese buffets run as fast as they can to turn out the lights and place the ‘closed’ sign on the door before they were literally eaten out of house and home.

Day by the day the cat explored the ogres kingdom and found beauty and wonder in the vast nature. There were owls and trees, magical stars and a talking moon. The very ground vibrated in Life. But, the cat started to feel like a prisoner. The cat wanted to escape the ogres clutch.

The ogre started to sense the cat was yearning for something else and as mentioned earlier, the ogre was not too bad as far as ogres go. However, the ogre would use all the power in her kingdom to keep the cat and all of the wonders of the kingdom intact and under control.

Some of the story is obscure as being a bunny…What? Not a bunny? A dragon? Well, being a dragon there are more important things to attend to then the fate of a cat trapped in an ogres kingdom. I did hear though that a herd of corgis ridden by warrior elves liberated not only the cat but also the one eyed cyclops living in the castle.

Of course…What? An all you can eat buffet just opened up in Portugal? I’m outa here… Oh, and yeah, they all lived happily ever after.

The end.

To add two the ramble too

Taking a pause to reflect on the man in the forest. A man old and secure in his surroundings as he taps the well used pipe crafted to smoke what the winds and clouds provide.

The wafting smoke can be felt as the smoke has a heartbeat. The aroma of the pipe speaks of something called, love. Something the man felt for his world, a world free from the antics of wild ignorant beasts set to toiling and living in a world far removed from his.

Raising his eyes to free the mind from the songs given by the flowing creek as wild trout beat a rhythm along with the hatching nymphs setting permanent the final target.

Puffing deep and exhaling he sees her and she knows him. He and she as different as night and day and both closer than a mother and her child in the womb. Smiling, he spoke to a very tenacious young ladybug who was very full in appetite at the moment. A small and beautiful creature making the world a better place.

She. She is. She always will be. She talks to him constantly even when she is unaware and sleeping in a world were both collide. When she is awake she knows.He is with her forever as there was no other choice or path. This thought caused a chuckle as with attendance the audience of illusions applauded.

Lately the owls have held protest. It is their rights and their responsibility. The old man kept hold of smile and with his left hand, twisted his attitude to a tone subtle and low in resonance. Time of calm in preparation of a cyclone. Already the ground has given opinion. Tides has shown no slack. Even the sun, a sun filled with immense pride, tried its hand.

There will always be others. Those thinking of knowledge and fools. Using their minds as tools without and with the desire of control and ability. To the old man he grimaced at how chaotic such a device is even allowed to exist.

If proof of God even jaded those who try to find reason in any world of heaven or hell they have chosen to exist, it must be pointed out this door can be painted any color, any size, shape, and yet the hinges all are balance as what is, is and always will be just as he/she is.

(When writing in this language it is sometime hard to translate the vibrations and pictures alive, breeding, evolving and thank God, there is the wind.)

If anyone reads this other than eyes of mankind, maybe you too, can understand?

Inside me exists what can be called, Monster or in another way, Saint.

Outside exists the old man and woman he loves.

In between there is only the dreams and pictures.

Now, satisfied all was well in his world, the old man knocked the ashes from his pipe and again smiled as wild honey bees carried the remains away to be made into the finest honey.

Talking stride without doubt as to his age; Eternal Life.

Such a story exists.

Such a story is real.

Two know full well of this story.

And when the sun burns dim and wind calms to a mere whisper,

such a wonderful form of love with not only thrive and prosper…

and yes, you wanted talk and this is what it is.