Written by: The face of humanity
“My first day of wearing the face of evil began only a few moments before you grub eating, maggot infested humans began as Adam and Eve.”
(sipping some cognac and beating some terrorists who died and thought they were going to be around some virgins, Satan continued…)
“Anyway. My Father (rolling the eyes) God… Well we did not see eye to eye. Literally. God’s eyes were so much bigger than mine. So, I did battle against the bastard. Had too really. There was no choice as I was an Angel of God, and so it was kind of humorous to have the body of God fight the body of God and guess who won?”
(another sip and another slap with a ruler on the knuckles of a nun who was once a closet cannibal)
(burp. gluttony has some disadvantages) “Yep. You guessed it. God won. And since God fought God, God did not kill or destroy those that were on the losing side. Sooooo… Here we are today. I get the job of fucking with blobs of biological shit and you all get to choose what part of God you want to be with.”
(there was a loud sound of screaming from the part of Hell where all politicians go which distracted Satan enough to cause a smile)
“Yep. My first day on the job sucked. I mean how would you all like to wake up in Hell? And trust me, not even God’s son Jesus liked it when he descended into hell. He lasted only three days and decided to try being a flesh bag again before going up to Heaven.”
(fantasy? make believe? look inside your nightmares tonight to see just how stupid Satan looks when giggling and dressed in a clown suit)
Robin Lipinski 