“Yup. There I was. Shopping in the local Walmart when, Bam! There she come a running. Large looking beast. Had a wig and purple spandex pants. Yelling like a gut shot rhino.”

(Pause for effect and the shielding of sensitive minds)

“She held a large screen TVand bellowed, ‘Mine, all mine’.”

“It was on the Jungle day called, Black Friday.”

Let me count the ways.

“Do you ever see wild animals”

1.Yep, and I kill and eat them

2. Yes. They are the nut jobs driving cars on the highway like a baboon with herpes.

3. No. No, I live in a bubble and am allergic to everything but air.

4. Help. I’m trapped in a Chinese submarine just off the coast of Taiwan

5. I am a wild animal…

6. Eeks! A spider!

7.Mommy, why is daddy eating out of the garbage can?

8. Daddy, why do I scream like an ape and rub my peepee when I see pretty girls?

9. Why do animals have to wild? They have feelings. They should have the right to be whatever it is they want to be. Maybe they are calm and collected.

10. The question should be, do wild animals ever see what i am?