Written by: (a strange and weird thing)

(((So, There. That’s better. Anyway, a short story which slapped me today. Literally.

Now, ((( ((( still talking in the first place ))) ))) I was going to name the character in the story, Bob. Bob is a simple name for a simple species. Though, the humans do have an occasional intelligent one. Look at you for example, you made it this far in the story so it is obvious you’re very intelligent.

;another now

Now,while Bob can be read forwards and backwards, it can also be spelled up-side-down AND left to right. So, the character won’t be Bob. Maybe I’ll write a story for pine bugs and use the name? No, it will me a more nuanced and common name, a name fitting for fool or king. Richard. Richard it will be.)))

A grand ship sat towering over prairie filled with dust, rock and now the beauty of a actual giant sized space ship.

Space ships have existed for the time before the second time of the third coming. Not earlier though, no sirree. Before space ships and time there was peace. Actual real peace.

“What are you doing?” A strange question now as a man named Richard happened upon the scene of dust, rocks and a grand space ship obvious to anyone within fifty miles.

The grand space ship took all the attention though. Tall and spiraling towards the sky. A metallic sheen caused the Sun to sparkle in reflection. Support fins nestled firmly into the dust and rocks were a clean sharp black directional fin. Blacker than the soul of To’lr. Yes indeed the ship was truly grand which made Richard noticing a small figure standing at the base of one of the black fins a bit strange.

“I’m changing the tire,” The figure replied, a figure named, Bob.

“That don’t look like no tire. Looks like a black fin blacker the the soul of To’lr. Looks like a space ship, a grand one at that!” It is obvious Richard was an intellectual that knew the difference between a tire on an automobile and a directional fin on a grand spaceship.

“No. It may appear to be a fin on a space ship and to you that is what it appears to be, (damn I’m inspired by Kamala)though you have not yet seen the dimensional circles the fins leave while traveling through space and time.” Bob was starting to be almost as intelligent as Richard. Almost.

“Mmm…ya don’t say. Well I suppose what with the dimensional circles being distorted by the curvature of space/time. Maybe it could be a tire.” The look Bob gave Richard now proves Bob is the rocket scientist.

To continue the winning streak of intelligence Richard further added, “Say Bob. How is it you have a grand space ship? You do know that Earth does not have such technology. So how did you end up flying this, or do you fly it?”

With a sigh Bob said, “Yes I fly it and no I did not find it, it found me.”

Respect. Richard was now impressed.

“What do you mean find you? Did it land and grab you and force to learn to…how to fly… What? How did you learn how to fly a space ship?” And now the back and forth of ???

“Well, not much of a story really. I was out tending to my garden when this big ship landed and grabbed me. And then it connected with me.” A look of pain, which could be construed for a grimace, appeared on Bob’s face.

“Connected? As like in your brain?” Richard was mesmerized by the intelligence of Bob.

“No, as in my ass. See?” Turning around Richard gasped as he saw a long tube coming from Bob’s anal area and connect to the black fin.

“Yes, I expect you to be surprised. I know I was sure surprised. Anyway, we did a trade, the ship and me. The ship would teach me a whole lot of stuff AND I will never die.”

Interrupting Robert asked, “But why the ass? Why not connect to the head, or shoulder, or anything other than your butt hole?”

And this is now where it all makes sense. And I was going to let Bob finish but fuck it, apple moonshine, yikes!

Oh, one last thing, the space ship was connected to the human via the anal area of Bob because Bob produced the grand bio excrement that any space should could desire, this is why the space ship is so grand. The ship uses Bob’s crap to build microbotic life capable of giving the human, Bob, immortal life. (that’s a whole other story)

And as an extra feature bonus: While Bob and the ship traveled and enjoyed each others company, the ship gave one grand bonus, that being, to give control of where and when the ship flies to.

The End

A fucking wooden waterwheel??.

More shine!