“Can I huh? Can I mom?” Persistence of youth, especially a male child whose brain deals in the muddy waters of misguided absolutes, is astounding.
“No.” Mothers can communicate in the most simple way to get their point across in only a few words.
“Why? Everybody is going.” Ah yes! The age old response from one losing an argument.
“I don’t care, you cannot go.”
“But, but, but Mooooom… Please?” Starting to sound more like defeat mixed with futile hope.
“No. Now go clean up for dinner.”
Sigh, “Okay.” And off to his world of self the young lad went. Only, like so many young males (and a mothers closest thing to a challenge, young females) he had other plans…
*
Skipping forward in the age old story of obedience and disobedience we now project in your mind the picture of a boys empty room. It is empty because this lad snuck out of his room and went camping with some of his friends. Can you see it?
If you’re actually reading this ,what kind of room are you picturing? Is it a room filled with male paraphernalia such as half naked women in posters hanging on the wall? Is there a computer on a desk with some sort of stickers on it? A bed unmade? Dirty clothes on the floor?
Yes?
No?
Don’t give a fuck?
*
Now to what the room looks like. It is a room unlike any you could know. It was a gravitational pod filled with pulsing stems of high voltage. The hum would destroy any human ear drum, the voltage would eradicate any human flesh completely. It was here the young male lived on a planet filled with such advanced science combined with multi-dimensional constructs it was a bit overwhelming.
The young male was indeed biological and his parents were the typical male and female who combined the biological and the unexplainable ( maybe some day you will come to understand, but that day is not today.)
With his friends the group went camping to a primitive planet called, Earth. It was here they would camp among the species so dangerous and bizarre it was to be the perfect test of disobedience one could dream of, let alone bring to fruition.
“Damn, look at that,” the boy turned to talk to one of his compatriots to share his view of a young human female giving herself a shot of heroin.
“How bizarre.” It was at this time when a stray bullet from a gun fired in anger by an antifa activist against a fellow rival hit the boy and caused an explosion on par with a small tactical nuke.
And while it is sad the camping trip ended badly it only proved that mothers know best. It also proved true that Earth is a shit hole and should be left to be an exhibition at a cosmic zoo.
Robin Lipinski 