This is another story I’ve written that has been rejected. I have an almost 100% perfect score of rejection on my stories, though one was accepted and some of my poetry was accepted.
If you’re a writer, don’t let rejection get you down. For me, I just like to write.
If anyone stumbles across this story, you may or may not like it. I however, enjoyed writing it.
***
Fear or Fearing
By: Robin B. Lipinski
“It has been said that the only thing to fear is fear itself. A rather simple explanation for fear in my opinion, but today you all and I will discuss the more personal nuances of what all people experience in one form or another, that being the feeling of fear.” Professor Leonard Sheldon spoke with about as much enthusiasm to his class gathered in front of him as a fifty-five year old burned out prostitute would sound like when asking a John for a ‘good time’.
–
The professor had taught psychology to thousands of students the past many tenured years of his stay at Berkley. Many years of trying to teach a young generation about the mind and how it works. From his personal experience and from what he saw daily in the school year; there was not much hope for advancing humanity.
–
Yes, there were those few students who surprised him but that was just a statistical anomaly and if given a percentage number it was less than one percent of his students.
–
It could be said that Leonard was biased and arrogant in his assessment of his students. After all he was a very learned man; achievement came early in his life. A perfect academic record with multiple degrees in psychology, with minor degrees in language, and physical science. On his wall in his office it was covered with his papered achievements of which included two PhD’s. In his mind, and many in the realm of education, he was a very smart man.
–
As for the worlds opinion of his physical looks…it was mostly dismal. He was not tall or full of muscles, rather he was short, fat, balding, and truth-be-told, if one got too near to him they would suffer the smell of halitosis, the smell reminding many of old sewage exposed by removing a septic tank lid.
–
Looking out from behind his podium at the students numbering roughly fifty in number, he shook his head and with a sigh said, “Alright, let’s get right to the heart of fear. Fear is different for everyone. For some there is the fear of certain animals, for others, certain people. Fear is a personal experience and different for everyone. I’m sure everyone here has their own particular fears so let’s find out some of those fears.”
–
The professor was a bit conflicted about athletes, he enjoyed exposing how weak most of their minds were and he hated their physical abilities. Sitting in the middle of the class was a young man who played football on the college team. He was one of those athletes who were very secure in who they were and placed great value in themselves as they often shined in the light of attention. This particular athlete was named, John.
–
“John, tell us your innermost fear.” The professor waved his right hand in the general direction of a student athlete lost in his smart phone texting one of his many girlfriends, or what is now known at college as fuck buddies.
–
“John…hello, earth calling John, anyone home?”
–
The rest of the class started laughing and this caused the Romeo to raise his head to see the professor looking at him. “Are you talking to me?”
–
“Ah, so nice you could join us. If you think you can manage to live for a few minutes without your phone, please tell us what you greatly fear.”
–
The whole class turned their heads to look at what answer would come out of John’s mouth. And that’s what’s nice about athletes who are very secure with themselves, they generally are not afraid of anything; part of training to win at all costs, fearing nothing, especially a broken nose, leg, or mind.
–
“Sure I fear you giving me a bad grade…” This caused more laughter from his fellow students.
–
“No John, seriously. What would cause you to experience great fear? Something that you would run away from. Something that would cause you to scream even.”
–
It seemed strange but John actually paused for a few seconds and on his face it looked like he was seriously thinking of taking the question seriously, but the small smile appearing just before his answer revealed the truth, “I fear being unconscious in the locker room and when coming too, finding myself naked and tied to a bench. All around me are my team mates – naked – excited, and looking at me with big…smiles.”
–
This caused everyone but Leonard to break out in laughter. For Leonard he made another mental filing of how much he truly hated athletes, now John was added in that file, but before he let John have the last laugh he said, “Yes, I imagine they would be smiling at you as you would be smiling at them…”
–
Some of the students were a bit more dense than the others, John included but when the logic of what the professor had said sunk in, they all laughed, with the exception of John who mentally flipped off the teacher and went back to the girls on his phone.
–
Turning to his next victim he spotted the girl near the back who always hid in the shadows, who never volunteered any answer and who was basically a very shy young woman. Her name was Jill.
–
“Jill, what causes you great fear?”
–
Jill was silent, her face turning red.
–
“Does speaking in public cause you fear?”
–
She answered honestly, “Yes, a little but not enough to want to run away.”
–
“So tell us all Jill, what would cause you such fear that you would want to run away?”
–
It did not take long for Jill to answer and it was a simple answer, “I fear God.”
–
The rest of the class looked bored. Jill was not as fun to study as John was. She was just a shy girl, kinda cute, kinda not. Not the smartest student, not the dumbest. She was an average nobody and nobody in class wanted anything to do with her.
–
Leonard smiled at the answer. He knew there was no God or Devil. He knew religion was a weakness for the mind to embrace to overcome the weakness of the person thinking in such. Leonard had absolutely nothing positive to think regarding any deity, nothing at all.
–
“So Jill, you fear God? Why? I thought God was a loving God, a compassionate God, why then would such a simple child as yourself fear something so loving?” This question actually caught the attention of many of the students, but not all, those people were looking at their text messages, one was even sleeping.
–
There was no fear in Jill’s voice when she said, “I fear God because not only is he a loving God, but a vengeful one. I fear his power.”
–
“His power? What, do you fear he would turn you into a frog?” Now the class was being entertained and showed their collective appreciation by laughing.
–
Jill was no longer red in her face nor shy of speaking, “No, I do not fear that he would turn me into a frog. I fear God because he made me and thus has the power to destroy me.”
–
In the professors mind he thought this was another nut case. He had much experience debating those nutty people who believe in God. “You actually fear your maker, one filled with love? This fear is greater than, oh, let’s say, sharks?”
–
Jill was silent for a few seconds and then answered, “Well, sure, I’d greatly fear sharks but I don’t swim in the ocean or have any desire to go on any boats so there would be no opportunity to fear sharks. God however is with me always.”
–
“Alright then, what would you do if a masked man approached you with the intentions of raping you, maybe even killing you, would this cause fear?”
–
“Of course, but I would fight back and I’d have God by my side.”
–
The professor tried many different approaches to Jill, all geared towards ridicule on an intelligent level, all to fail at the simplicity of Jill’s answer. In his mind, Jill was a lost cause, another form of religious zealot and thus in his world, stupid at the least and insane at the most.
–
After many minutes of talking with Jill, he turned and asked many other students about their fears. He received many answers, serious and not serious. Such answers were death, animal attacks, crime, war, scary movies, certain foods, global warming…A lot of varied situations and items causing fear.
–
“Professor Sheldon.” A voice spoke loudly from the shadows behind the last student sitting in the room.
–
“Yes? And you are?” Leonard squinted as the light was bright around him but grew dimmer the farther away one got. Where the question came from was located very far away but finally he saw the person calling his name. It was odd as he had never seen this person before.
–
Again he asked, “And who are you? Are you a student of this class? What’s your name?”
–
With great strength in the voice the reply was, “I am.”
–
“What? You are, I am? What kind of answer is that? Give me the courtesy of your name or the courtesy of getting the hell out of my class.”
–
There was a slight chuckle from the person now causing the class professor to get anger in his voice. “My name is whatever it is you want it to be.” With a slight pause it was further added, “For you my name is, Bob…”
–
The whole class was interested in this new twist in the class, even John the athlete paused from sexting to see what all the excitement was about.
–
“Okay, ‘Bob’, what do you want?” You could definitely sense anger in Leonard’s voice.
–
“What do you fear?” Again, the voice full of bass and very firm.
–
“What do I fear? I fear nothing except whatever it is my body feels a natural instinct to fight or flee from…” Leonard now smiled as he knew his answer above all the other students answers was the correct one. He knew that the human body was hard wired to feel fear from anything capable of causing physical or mental harm. He knew it was only logical to flee from an attacking bear or if unable, to fight for life.
–
Again the voice from the back spoke in a loud, calm voice, “Do you fear ghosts?”
–
At this the whole class started laughing. Oh it was a good joke being played on the fat little professor. The whole class loved it, even Jill laughed.
–
Stifling the urge to laugh or to get angry and kick ‘Bob’ out of his class the professor instead said, “Mmm. Ghost’s? What kind of ghost’s? White ones, black ones, ones with wings, maybe a purple dinosaur? Are you serious in your question?” By now the class was roaring in laughter. John the athlete was laughing so loud he dropped his phone on the floor.
–
The reply by Leonard did not deter ‘Bob’. Calmly he said, “Professor Sheldon, you seem like a very educated and logical man. I imagine you know the realm of science very well and feel very secure in your knowledge of the world.” This was not a question rather a statement of the facts.
–
“Yes. I am a man of science. There is no such thing as ghosts.”
–
“And you are positive of this?” The tone in the voice now sounded amused.
–
“Look Bob, I’ve let you have your fun at my expense. There is no such thing as ghosts, goblins, witches, trolls, zombi’s…Those are just stories designed for weak minds…”
–
There was no answer or reply to the professors last statement. When he looked to see Bob, so too did the rest of the class, only there was nothing to see.
–
This caused only a mild moment of discomfort for the professor as he quickly logged Bob in his mind as a nut job. Soon he and the class resumed the boring class pertaining to fear and the class was dismissed for the day with basically nothing being learned by anyone other than John the athlete learned via a text that one of his girlfriends was pregnant.
–
The University of Berkley is located in a pretty setting. After the day of teaching young minds Leonard enjoyed a beer outside the school and played a game of chess with a friend of his, one who was also a logical, intelligent man. He usually won the games and today he did so again.
–
After riding his bicycle home and after feeding his cat and taking a hot shower, the professor was in the middle of preparing a salad. He greatly loved vegetables to the point he was called a vegetarian. For him meat only caused greater harm to the planet in the form of gas emission in the form of flatulence from cows and it caused bodily harm in the form of heart disease.
–
It was a surprise on his face when his left arm went numb with pain and his chest felt like an elephant was sitting on his sternum. This look of surprise left his face to be replaced with a death mask as he keeled over dead from a heart attack. Sort of ironic seeing on how smart he was to eat healthy but death can be a bastard when it wants too…
–
Opening his eyes Leonard felt no pain. He felt great in fact. It had been a long time since he last felt this good. Sitting up he saw he had been laying on his back on the floor of his kitchen. Standing up with a smile on his face he looked down at the floor and saw…himself.
–
Yes, Leonard saw his body laying prone on the floor, just as it had fallen dead upon. He saw on his face the grimace of pain and death. He also saw that he truly had been a short, fat, balding man. Next to his body he also saw the remnants of his salad, but he did not think about that. He was thinking; DEAD…
–
Leonard’s mind was, I mean, ‘was’, a very scientific and logical one. Even in death it tried to come to terms with what was currently happening. He knew for certain that when the human body died, that was it. No heaven, no hell, no nothing. Lights out…
–
—————————————————— The End———————————————————
————————————————————————————————————————–
Of course, the end are only two stupid words in the English dictionary as there is never the end, there is only…
—————————————————The Change——————————————————–
–
Yes, the good professor was not only dead but he was now, a ghost.
–
As a ghost he had all his earthly memories, his thoughts, feelings; everything he had been when alive he was now owning, only the body was missing, along with the tactile feelings a body has. He now walked through walls, floated through ceilings…He was a typical ghost.
–
Poor man, it took a few years for him to get used to being a ghost, and it was lonely being a ghost as he saw no other ghosts. His body long since cremated and his new ghostly body felt nothing physical. It must be said though that it was good his mind had been so intelligent as it was through this intellect that prevented him from turning into a howling banshee or insane form of troubled spirit or poltergeist.
–
Leonard got to witness new owners in his home, and there were many. Over the past fifty years there were more than seventy owners. Most stayed less than a year and only one crazy medium lasted more than two…Reason being of course, the place was haunted!
–
He was a busy ghost. Trying through the logic of science to communicate with the land of the living. He used Morse code on the speakers of the homes sound system, he tried pictures on the television. He wrote in various languages – modern and ancient – on the steam covered mirror in the bathroom. He even tried entering the minds of the tenants as they lay sleeping. Needless to say, he scared the shit out of each and every owner of his old home. It could be said that he became their greatest fear.
–
It was frustrating that Leonard could not connect with people. He was stuck in a world he could not escape. He felt anger, bitterness, and even boredom with his new ‘life’. That is until one day…
–
The professor did not feel physical situations as a ghost cannot feel such. While living he had studied information on ghosts and he learned that in theory a ghost is an end product, something that at best was waiting to – pass on to another dimension; most zealots believe heaven or hell is the final stepping stone, but he soon found out that was another fairy tale.
–
One day he felt the hair on the back of his neck rise, only he had no hair and had never felt anything before since becoming a ghost, but today he not only felt it but when he turned around he saw a disfigured shape lunge at him, the color of changing black, and large fangs…
–
He screamed loudly as the fangs bit into him. The pain was intense. The whole scene surreal. The lights in the home even went out as his scream caused the main breaker to trip in the electrical box.
–
When he opened his eyes, everything was black. He still had all his intellect only now he did not have any body he could recognize. The setting he was in was not his old home. He had no contact with anything called, Earth. It was another world. The only thing he could see were ghosts, ones with human bodies, ones that were like what he once was. He had died once more, only this time as a ghost.
–
Looking at his body he saw it was changing colors of black and that he had strange limbs, and he could not see but he knew his mouth was filled with large, sharp teeth.
–
Yes, Leonard was now a ghost that haunts ghosts and in the centuries that followed he died as a ghost only to descend to another level of being a ghost. His shapes became what no mortal could even imagine, his thoughts and intellect learning sooooo much more about reality. Each level of ghost haunting/harming the level above. It seemed like an endless cycle.
–
At a period around twenty thousand earth years later in the timeline that Dr. Leonard Sheldon had died on Earth from a heart attack, he/it/whatever the hell he now was, heard a voice. It was the voice of ‘Bob’.
–
“So, professor, what do you fear?”
–
The silence only lasted two years until the professor answered, “Ghosts. I fear ghosts…”
–
The End
(actually, The change)
Robin Lipinski 