Narcissism. Ego. Victim. Important. Alive… Words of describing so many to include, myself.

Now, it is all well-and-good to be able to discern between humility and pride, or narcissism and secluded shyness. These are labels and as such used to help describe the human condition.

Have you ever asked yourself who you are?  If you have, were you happy with your answers?

Many people care what others think of them, many people care less. That’s what I enjoy about humanity; vast oceans of emotional identities and thoughts.

Some people love to wear red hats. Some love sex. Some hate raisins. And endless menu of identity and choice. So who are you? Tell me about yourself. I ask this because there is a constant input of data coming this direction always, and always has.

Confused? Good.

Let me tell you a bit about myself.  To a doctor of the mind I’m crazy, or in kinder words, delusional. Oh yes, there are many ways for the medical profession to describe such as myself, and that’s just the medical profession. Throw in the religious, business, you, and just about everything else in this world, and you’d have descriptions matching boring to bat shit crazy.

This is a three dimensional description using the tools of your world to describe. A picture would be better but that bores me at the moment, but not, and now. This is, it is, me…

* 12*  3 3 3 _____________________________(inserted between () and () with balance)

from every direction comes the flow, the river of time carrying life on the line

holding in the palm a plan a story a way of being with little room for personal choice

such a flood of feelings, of sounds, of sights seen and unseen

a gift? No, not really

a gift? Yes, absolutely

1+1=4

4+4=8

8+4=12 a;; all ;ll ;l; are correct leaving 5 in its wake.

boring? definitely not. exciting? definitely yes. real? the bird rests upon a branch barren of leaves. In the bird’s beak there rests a ribbon made of thin gold alive and pulsing with blood of thousands of worlds… worlds destroyed, spared, and those given rest.

a torso now, as that is what one currently feels as they sit riding on a bus, and there, she thinks about why such a cruel world would kill her cousin… thousands, millions, billions, trillions of streams of data bearing down; crushing weight.

who (passing ten billion years with just a blink of one eye leaving the other to be born)

am (opened the mind for just micro-seconds and wearied in reply)

i? (ideum ) no… Osmium.

The answer is, no one can understand or stand or sit or be as in the world of monsters, there really (is)  nothing else like me.

and so, such a way to create a  bit of breathing room. a hollow and empty room filled with intense hot white light, and taking the pleasure of brief.

there comes now, many rooms with many open doors. so many the voices will almost overwhelm… it was nice to have the time to breathe, waiting now for this world, the world of Earth… to..

and now, taking wing into the center of the Tree.

why try when the results are always going to be the same. a game where people wash themselves with soap. wear clothes. comb their hair. eat food. sleep. work. play…

watching ants scurry about looking for food. watching bees hover above a flower. watching clouds cross a sky. watching. watching. watching. for what? what for?

maybe that is what humanity really is all about? games? mistakes? more likely, an insane attempt at reality?

some pray some stray some wonder some love some hate, but maybe, it is all the same? … no, no that’s not a correct assessment for all, or is it? no, there is more for sure, that’s true.

thankfully there is the wind, the loving wind that is truly my only friend in a world totally lost hand-in-hand with cruelty.

no one can understand

no one

which is why it is good to be alone with the dreams not of this world, or the next, but my world, a world where there are no people, no ants, no flowers, no clouds, no sky…

a world where there is peace, a world where there is joy, a world so far away from cruelty and hate, a world where a monster can truly rest.

.

on one door, it bespoke a heavy presence of timber and framed
a large bronze handle only recently held as copper
inside, a verdant green

on a second door, it waved with breeze and web. inside, a spider
handle of gossamer with braided strand
inside was but a mirror

on the third door, is simmered coal black
handle of diamond
inside was solid rock

on the fourth door, blinding white with trails
handle the warmth of a beating heart
inside, a pulse

so much yet so simple, such doors to choose
simple yet another choice so often unnoticed…
the choice to become the ceiling, above all and seeing such, or a floor, feeling the entire weight.

The headlines coming out of the bastion of the Democratic stronghold commonly known as California had a new headline today…

California bill would prohibit animal dissections in public and private schools through grade 12

Sounds nice. Protect the pickled frogs and crayfish from the inspection of small humans trying to learn about biology.

Biology. Wonderful topic. Deals with the mechanisms of life.

Interesting though, a bill to prohibit dissections as that is ‘cruelty’ to animals…

BUT, abortion, now that’s just downright perfect. A great life-lesson for children. Perfectly legal to chop up, suck out, and kill a little child just begging to be brought into a world…so they can grow up and be concerned about dissection of frogs.

Thankfully though, there is hope… For biology lessons that is. California teaches kids  how to put on condoms AND how to perform great sexual favors on each other!

Gotta love that fucked up state-of-mind so many call, California.

(this world sucks… literally)

Dictators are all alike

depending though, on perspective.

President Trump is the Devil to those who hail such Angels as Sanders, Hillary, and Obama

‘President’ Kim Jong-un, Supreme leader of North Korea will one day be a poster-child dream, for the likes of those in love with Chavez, Mao, Lenin, Stalin, and Fred the pizza-guy who kills and buries little girls.

Who is guilty in this world?

That’s easy…

You all are. Though, in your defense some will hail you. Some will like you.

We all are floating along with lives boarding on plank of boring to surreal. With some cream rising to the top to where we have two guilty parties sitting together, trying for something strange and alien to this world…

Peace

Sheared or shorn to show a harvest took place

Stalks or stem once held the grains of seed

Such is the past scene

Now covered in snow with tracks of those taking passing

looking for lost feed

leaving tracks as payment

What did last nights Oscars prove?

What merits are there to write about last nights Oscars?

What redeeming, tender moments important to human development be shown in last nights Oscars?

In answer to all:

Not

one

damn

thing.

Energy expended with actions begetting actions

Spinning wool from a fleece covered in shit, when finished, warm and clean

a sweater

Grinding grain with stone and mortar, shelling the remnants left from a locust feast

Separating chaff, grit, dirt

celebrating with warm bread covered in butter

Punch another in the face, spouting the power of hate

Kick a dog to the curb

Spank a crying baby

People with ‘power’; politicians, clergy, union boss, you, me…

using mouth and brain

fingers to curl into fist for release

You see, so easy to take the hardness of nature and making it pleasing, comforting, delicious…

yet

so obvious to see a smile lead only to hate and deceit

as the circle of the mouth  shows the lies inside

…

it would be better to be alone with bread and butter, a sweater, some music, cold water,

in the comfort of a cave.

Perspectives.

Is the glass half empty or half full?

Some with optimism say, “half full.”

Some with pessimism say, “half empty.”

I say, drink what’s in the glass and refill it.

In a world where it used to be your intellect and brawn that kept you alive, it now is one where you can be a parasite. A true form of existence which only takes and devours. Sickly. Stupid. Yet cunning enough to work a system designed to be manipulated.

Today, people can stage a racial hate attack to look good, and even when getting caught, still made to look good. To be, “The glass half full,” while making those made to look like guilty racists, “The glass half empty.”

So, how is your life going? Is it going well? Is your glass half full? And if it is going well is it because of other peoples actions or your own? Maybe a bit of both?

The opposite question can also be asked. Is your life going badly? Is your glass half empty? And if it going bad is it because of other peoples actions or your own? Maybe a bit of both?

Interesting to think about. For me, there is no glass. No half full or half empty. I truly realize this world is a strange, alien place not fit for such grand ambitions as fairness, justice, honor.

This world is fit for bullies, liars, thieves, cheats, war mongers, haters…

This is not my world no matter what i sometimes try to make believe. No amount of good food, scenery, book, movie, job, money, sex… nothing is worth serving time on this shithole planet except for one thing, and one thing only…

This planet, for all its illusions of pure illusions is only worth one thing… to give thanks to God. For God is my only master. God is the only one worthy of thanks. God is the only one worthy of my thoughts.

So, thank you God. You truly have a grand and wonderful sense of humor! Oh, and thanks God, for the tasty food. Even though it too is an illusion, it helps pass the time.

Speaking of which, I still think there is some ice cream in the freezer.

Sent from a room of cloud

Spiraling serenely

Soft

Such a scene

Snowflakes slowing descending

all around today

Today, a party where clouds aloof

released those frisky beings

Cold, white, puffy, they danced all around

as if they enjoyed the company of others laying atop the ground

Some though, paused and sniffed

Laughing

All

They fell and continued, though some stayed adrift

Spinning

Talking

Smelling

Until, most decided to continue to fall and pile

most

most continued…

but a few  hovered as they discovered

a new reality…

Changing and defying gravity in the stillness of air

they became like the wind and rose

rising higher and higher

taking to the sky above

to fly and be free.