Posted on by robinblipinski

A Zillion dollars…(i like Z)

Since we live in a modern world of retards, (retardz) Whee!

Oops,

anyways,

since this world loves to embrace the collective mind construct of insanity I’ve decide to buy a new car so I went into the dealership and wrote a check for a brand new truck costing $156,000.00 dollars.

The bank would not clear the check so I was very upset. I cried and threw a tantrum, (just like the ICE protestors) The bank said I did not have $156,000.00. They had the audacity to say I owed them money for something called a bounced check.

So I shaved my head…well, polished my head as some say I’m bald yet I say I have an afro because I’m a Nigerian Princess.

Anyways, that did not work so I wrote another check, this time for a million dollars. I wanted to buy a dress like those fuctards at the grammys wore. And then again, I was told I did not have the money.

A question: I know I have a zillion dollars. I know because I am me and I know everything.. I demand! No, I know I demand that the world knows I have a zillion dollars and must cater to my every desire, need, and mental retardation!

And if you ever sell me anything, I demand you take my check. I know I’m good for it. And if you don’t then, then, then, then, I’ll hold my breath until I pass out and become sane.

ICE out of the freezer! I demand fresh underwear! Where is my blanky and binky!

WAAAH!!!

Posted on by robinblipinski

The Locals

Tom was basically a timid boy. Kept to himself and followed the family train as it drifted from job to job, town to town.

There was Waco Texas, Seattle Wa, Tampa Florida; towns from here to there. Tom enjoyed the travel and in his way he learned. He learned in Waco the chili was hot and tasteful. In Seattle he learned that men had sex with men and boys, an experience for Tom both shocking and interesting.

Then there was the town where Tom lived now. A small town in a big state best left unmentioned as what happened in that town would best be left unmentioned stay for the fact there would be no story left and as with all stories they must be said.

“Who be yea?” Was it a gnome or an old wizened bar patron of the local small town bar named, Silver Dollar.

“Excuse me?” Tom asked in a timid voice. He had never seen such a creature before.

“I ask, who be yea? You are not from here nor I expect yea be from there.”

“Uhm. My family just moved here. My dad got a job at the hospital.

The gnome was not spare with his hateful look as he replied. “Well, yea best be moving on from here. There’s a killing to be made.”

Tom froze in fear as he dreaded something bad was coming.

Strange?

Weird?

Tom just moved into a small town and as luck would not be his; stumbled upon an annual sacrifice/killing of a virgin. A virgin which Tom was one and now would always be.

As the locals tore his flesh the gnome laughed as the other misshapen creatures tore the flesh from the young boys body. They feast as they celebrated the moon god.

Just another attraction known only by a select few, those being the annual victim and the hoard of demons called, locals.

Posted on by robinblipinski

Epitaphs and shit

Epitaphs or epifafs or… fuck it, it’s drinking day. One day a week I allow myself to drink and tonight it’s rum and coke.

Anyways self, it’s me. A fucking crazy ass dude who has absolutely no filters and no alligence or allegiences or…fuck it, it’s my drinking day!

So, Margareta was born and raised in Sweden so sososo, soooooo… after spicking speaking spoking (and putting up with my bullshit) she is often times asked by random strangers, “Your accent, where are you from?” Or, “Are you from Germany?” Or, “Do you work here?” Or, “I hope you drop dead.” Or, “Who am I?”

Anywayes… I told her today that the next time someone asks about her accent and where she is from she should say, “I’m an angel from heaven and now I’m on my way back.”

Genious or genious or genus or penis or… That would shut up the mouths of those asking and a double win for those asking who only believe in nothing.

So.

Ah so

Asshole

Epitaphs I just thought up (or remembered, or saw)

“You’re standing on my balls!”

“Hey skank, wear some clean underwear.

“This space is occupied.”

“Hey Dominoes, where’s my pizza I ordered?”

“Trust me, it was worth it.”

(Last words spoken engraved on the monument) “Here, hold my beer and watch this.”

“I don’t believe in God. I believe in reincarnation. Currently I’m one of those crabs crawling around your genitals.”

“Down with ICE, Down with ICE, ARghh!”

“Out of order”

“You’re next”

“Laugh all you want, I took it all with me”

“Here lays a buried casket inside a U-Haul)

“They were supposed to install a bell in case I was still alive”

“This is not a Kill Bill moment:

“Don’t fuck a sow grizz when alone in the wilderness:

“I had a second helping of fries at a Somali resturaunt in Minnesota”

and on

and on

and on

Whee!

(thuddd) or thud

and, fuck it.

Posted on by robinblipinski

Free Speech

Case in point: Don Lemon. A gay black man who resides in a country that says it embraces something called, free speech.

People believe they have a right in America to express themselves by embracing something called, free speech.

Is speech free for Don Lemon who interrupted a church service or is it free for the minister who told the protestors to leave?

Decide for yourselves with your choice of free thoughts/free speech, though first another question: What is speech?

Speech. An act of communication. To express to others the thoughts one has pertaining to anything.

I can say, “Fuck Don Lemon, he is a stupid nigger that sucks cock.” I can say that, but should I?

Or

I can say, “I will pray that Don Lemon finds the love of God in his heart.” I can say that, but should I?

I do not matter because I do not really exist, however, i do.

and i do know that God also has free speech, a speech involving every action of everything. Earthquakes are speech. The wind is speech. The elements. The seen and unseen. And i know that when God speaks, all else becomes nothing more than babble.

Posted on by robinblipinski

Hot Wax

To appear with a painful reflex as the molten melt released by the flame

only to realize

there is more to reality than the observations of change.

To witness those engaged in playing a game

Sentenced before there was even the concept of time

Reduced to a glowing ember

and smiling knowing the folly of embracing time.

Posted on by robinblipinski · 1 Comment

Woof

Hello, I have a first name. My master calls me shithead but my actual name is Thor. Now, while I’m speaking human I really am unable as I’m a dog. A smart,welsh corgi for sure but stupid as a roomful of Democrats and Republicans at an orgy.

So, what does my name mean? It means if I answer to the call of shithead or Thor I get a cookie and a belly rub.

It’s all about the cookie man, all about the cookie.

“Woof!”

Posted on by robinblipinski

A Meta-for

“So there I was, middle of winter and carrying a sharp stick. I left my cozy home and walked up and over a mountain looking for a bear.” Taking a sip of kool aid, I continued.

“Anyways, I walked and walked and walked. I looked everywhere. On top of trees and under rocks. Looked everywhere for that bear and then I found it.” Another sip of kool aid.

“The bear was in a cave sleeping. Normal to be sleeping as that was the bears job to do in the winter; sleep…” Kool aid is wonderful.

“Sneaked up into that cave and jammed by stick up the sleeping bears ass. Wow! What a rush. That bear woke up and tore my head off. Even tore all my limbs off.” No more kool aid as I was dead.

“Now, I could have stayed at home taking care of my children and wife. That would have been easy but no, I had to grab a spear and look for a sleeping bear doing its job sleeping. Now I’m dead.”

(Dedicated story to retards who think impeding law enforcement can have anything other than a bad ending.)

Moral of the story: Don’t drink retarded peoples kool aid.