Beautiful day outside, a clear blue sky, snow covered ground and the birds are truly entertaining this morning. Amazing how much they can eat.

Along with today being  beautiful it is the ‘darkest’ day of the year. An important day for Pagans, Christian’s, fruit loops and  assorted other characters. It is also the first day of winter, though the snow outside has made a point of showing winter to have been around for awhile.

Christmas is in a few days to celebrate the birth of Jesus. Though Jesus was born it was not on the day picked in a few days, that day was picked because of humans anal attentive process to heavenly events. Druids for example: They love the moon the sun they are nothing more than…human. The same for all the other groups; all caught up in whatever herd mentality they all so gleefully embrace.

Truth, so very important yet so very much ignored. Cult secrets. Family secrets. And what are secrets? Basically they are to hide the truth. Simple.

The great thing about being a monster is to be able to see all sides of the equation. To see the games humans play, games so obvious it is like stepping off a cliff. Around me for the entire time this shell has existed – games, deception; puppet being pulled by puppet and who is the puppet master? For sure, you, and you, and you…Everyone a puppet master, all answering to higher masters. In my case, God.

What happens when a puppet master does not get their way? Easy to see in any two-year old child who has a tantrum in a store when told they can’t have candy. The little puppet masters try and control the larger puppet masters… Who wins? It depends on the will of the master.

This shell is a lousy puppet master as the rules that must be followed are  rigid, truth being one of them. No matter how hard it is tried, I have to embrace truth, no matter who or what it hurts.

If your puppet master is human then you can lie, cheat, steal and embrace it totally. If your puppet master is whatever word you pick for evil -Satan, demons, democrats (gotta have a little humor, plus it’s true…abortion embraced as a truth? fucking lunacy (lunacy:pertaining to lunar activity- ever the embrace of anal attentiveness for what happens ‘up there’) Then you can do whatever it is you desire!

All humans have opinions on higher Powers…God, Devil, and everything in between. It is fun to study such activity. “Proof!”  “Show me!” “I don’t believe it unless I see it!”

Power. To see what others cannot. To be what others cannot be.

Later it will be written about the beliefs on other worlds and how they tie in with this one. Other dimensions and worlds have puppet masters also just as they have God and Evil and more things than your chubby little fat brain can ever come close to imagining. That is for later, today it is a beautiful day, a sunny day, and the winter solstice.

***

Moon half full half empty

Sun to  shine

Seasons half between death and plenty

Half , a lazy word for indecision

Tomorrow the minutes start the teeter-totter of return.

Music, it is so wonderful to have music. Music is such a part of all worlds, your world, my worlds, all worlds. Ever hear angels sing? Most wonderful but so too, a two year old little human child.

Hearing a demon sing is not bad either though the tempo,vibe, and feeling are geared towards a different ending.

It is fun to note that in your travels throughout your world you will always find music. Everywhere. Every culture. It is a common language of life as even the animals of lesser means have music – birds, whales, insects. Heck, even the nature of wind, of ocean waves, earthquakes, volcano’s…all to sing for the worlds to enjoy.

For those experiencing the loss of hearing or having been born without the blessing of hearing, even they/you have the gift of music as music transcends mortality…

Even in the silence of your moment, in your head the music exists. Proof of this is the smile the frown, the tears, the laughter. Without music there would be no other emotions.

(burp) “Uh, Robin? Don’t you have work to do today? Fuck music, especially this crap – Louis Armstrong – you’re listening to. Damn, it hurts my ears. Why don’t you listen to Rob Zombie instead.”

I listen to it all parasite. Ha, I even listen to you sing while you’re in the shower. Must say, keep your day job…

“Later man, I can’t stand some dead black guys ‘blah blah blah’…”

Why don’t you go play with the two mountain lions that have been killing deer outside the house parasite? It will do you some good as you do need a little exercise.

*

Lately I’ve been teaching myself to play a stringed instrument. Must say the progress is slow but damn, it is fun!

Do you play instruments? Do you sing? Of course you do, even if it’s in your mind. All life sings. All life listens.

Today is a good day to live. Today is a good day to sing. Today is a good day to listen.

I’m enjoying this new forum. No stress, no editors, no limits, no worries, no expectations, just a site to spill words, to be what I like to be and fuck the rest of this world.

“I like your attitude Robin, finally you’re starting to see things my way.”

No parasite, I see a whole lot more than you could ever dream, but I do like your attitude, it has helped me through some tough shit.

“Does that mean I get ice cream and potato chips now?”

Nope. You just get to be a part of my life as only you know what I am.

“Oh lucky me, what about your ‘love’ and Margareta, and, and, and…”

Shut up parasite. Monsters are not allowed to embrace love or hate.

“What are they supposed to be then, robots? In that case Robin you’re the perfect ‘tool’. Ha Ha Ha!”

Let me tell you parasite. A monster such as what i am only answers to God and God will not allow the monster to experience love or hate. It can only smell, taste, feel the extremes, never be a part of them. To cry at the simplest of children’s actions all the way to destroy an entire planet if ordered too, without remorse/hate/ or any feelings at all. I am a monster and know full well the understanding of what is. It sucks because this shell is human in composition and shadows of emotions draw me to this world. What an enigma…i dislike it immensely. This world is so backwards, so primitive, so hostile, yet God favors it so it must be what it is. I must say though, i will be very happy when my assignment is over, there are much better places, much better worlds to live in as a monster. Much better than this moment.

“Robin, you need to get laid, get drunk, maybe go buy some weed. You’re talking weird shit…”

No. Sex is meaningless. Getting drunk only satisfies the body not a monsters mind, and weed only makes me hungry. No parasite, what I need to do is work, watch, study, learn, and follow the Will of God. It is nice I’m allowed to write and draw but i have no choice in that.

“What, no ‘free will’ no freedom?”

Free will is for humans, as for freedom,  freedom i have plenty of as long as i obey God.

“Oh boy, you’re fucking fruit loops Robin. All this God crap. Let me guess, you’ve seen God? Talked with God? Whooee, you’re one strange asshole…”

There is  a lot that cannot be written as this world is not ready for such but it can be said that yes, God and i talk. For example: Last night a drawing was made, one fully understood. The language used is a very old language, the pictures full of meaning.

“Oh man, you seriously need help. When they come in the paddy wagon and put your ass in a straight jacket I’ll be sure to tell them you talk to God, unicorns, and believe the world is flat.”

Good for you parasite, you do that. Now, a picture that means much to me, and a poem.

***

Wind

Walking; pushed; pulled

Sitting to feel grounded, feeling pulse of heaven and earth.

Lines spinning – length to eternity, pointed dot, centered

My friend, the spirit of the wind, ever around, again-again-again…

Thanks for coming when needed.

Amen.

In wired captivity, bound in cage , holding seed to  entice

Sunflower, nuts, grain…feathery feast.

White terrain not based on racial tension, no political apprehension; frozen land of winter

Hunger being the feeling of those taming sky with wing.

Barren cherry tree to provide seat, wooden boards providing protection from talons speed

They came.

Bird after bird to feed, cornucopia set hanging from the greenhouse eve

Scattered so, so many seeds that even the mice will eat.

A smile upon  my face as they try to pretend, to hide, as if they did not need

Flittering a short distance as if aloof, full, without care for  was left hanging.

So went this day,  a cold day filled with life, with birds, with seed

and when i turned to find warmth of the home the ear could hear

the sound of seed being picked by ever more the hungry beak.

God.

Religion.

Humanity.

=

Three parts, all of which drive people crazy. Each tribe vying to control each part to varying degree’s.

I laugh at the ignorance of two parts of the equation – Religion and Humanity as it is well padded with ignorance, only the part of God holds it all together and needed, needed as much as the air breathed.

What is this ‘God’ so many believe in? For me a very good friend, a very wonderful Creator, the ultimate scientist, and my Master. I and i fear absolutely nothing on this world or others, only God has the power to destroy me. Only God can truly love me and guide me; religion and humanity try their best but are much like bacteria grown in a lab petri dish – they have a long way to evolve, a very long path indeed.

Being a Monster has it’s perks and reasons as only God truly knows. Even as this is written the pictures in this shells mind dance vividly and memories needed flood every cell of this body. Sadly though being a Monster has it’s downfalls…Unable to enjoy this world as it see’s it for what it really is thus for humanity the term, ‘ignorance is bliss’ is so very true.

But enough about me or what you only think you understand… Today, a story about a young boy named Jesus. A Human as it can be at full potential. A Human that showed this world Hope that is real not the imaginary hope that so many humans now cling too.

Most people on this primitive yet wonderful planet created by God know of Jesus and understand a lot as Jesus made it easier for the minds of humans to understand a basic tenet of what God is. Basically Jesus showed this world the potential of humanity with the simple act of being human while at the same time showing the world what God is.

Yes Jesus is a great man, a wonderful Human, and for your understanding – the Son of God, yet there is much more than just the title of Father or Son, so much more…

***

The day was a sunny albeit chilly day as the young boy named Jesus was playing outside the town. His father was busy working at his trade of carpenter while his mother was busy preparing figs for a coming wedding ceremony.

This day the air smelled sweet, memories of the cool night lingered to mix with warming smells of day; rocks shimmered as the sunlight hit them and the wind provided a bit of chill to the air with the promise of warmth.

Playing with a stick and carrying his favorite feather he grabbed out of the air many days earlier – a feather coming from two chickens that were fighting outside his home- he hummed as he enjoyed the day.

Day after day the sun rose on one side of the world and set on the other. Year after year the seasons changed from the seasons of birth, growth, harvest, and death. Time flowed. Mankind grew, and today Jesus caught sight of a small rabbit laying motionless under a tree barren of leaves, a tree long past leaf and life.

Walking over to the tree and kneeling in the shadow, the young boy placed his feather on the ground along with the stick he was playing with. Reaching down he picked up the immobile rabbit and stroked its fur.

To be alive on this world is to know death. For Jesus he had already experienced death as animals were killed for food, people died with age, disease, and accident. For him he already knew death and that this rabbit had died at a young age, an age when the rabbits mother and siblings had already been consumed by the creatures of the world for food. This young rabbit would have already been consumed by the hawk if it had not been for another hawk fighting the successful hunter for its bounty, causing the grip on the body to soften and to fall in the shadow of the long-dead tree.

As the young man stroked the fur no words were spoken, the only sound was the wind whispering through the dead branches of the tree overhead.

Do you understand the mind of a child? What do you feel when you see the young smile and laugh? What is the emotion when spying a child sleeping soundly, their little lips pursed in dream? Or in the case of sadness, how do the tears of a crying child affect you?

Jesus had tears in his young eyes as those eyes saw more than death, more than this world, they saw the other worlds that exist. For him it was hurtful to see this young creature laying to be consumed by maggot or beast in this world.

A drop fell from the right eye of the boy, falling onto the fur while the little hands held and stroked. At this moment there was a gust of wind that caused the old rigid tree to shiver and quake.

The small rabbit opened its eyes and looked into the eyes of Jesus. It was not the look of a wild animal in the rabbits eyes, rather it was the look of peace. Still, Jesus held the small rabbit and stroked the now vibrant fur as the small rabbit enjoyed the touch.

On this world, your world, there is life and death. While life is a blessing, death is a necessary mechanism meant to fit the current evolutionary status. It is unavoidable for death to be denied, unless one is ready to deny death.

This small rabbit had been brought into the world in the normal way, it died in the normal way and now by the small boys hand had been brought to a new level of life, one very incompatible to this moment. No longer could the rabbit exist in the normal way as this world would soon consume such innocence. This rabbit would be ravaged and destroyed as this world is not ready for such Life. Jesus knew this and thus holding the rabbit over his head he handed the rabbit to the hawk that had been circling ever since Jesus had knelt before the once lifeless body.

Swooping down the hawk gently grabbed the rabbit and the two communicated great peace, both last seen flying higher and higher towards the sun until there was nothing left to see as nothing of this world can truly glimpse the other worlds. Rest assured though, both the hawk and rabbit were now living Life.

As Jesus stood he once more had his feather and stick in his hands and humming, proceeded down the path to explore more of the world. Behind him the wind still blew through the tree’s branches only now they were no longer dead as new buds had formed on some of the branches, next Spring they would blossom and show new life.

I like being anonymous yet be what i am and after a month of not writing, yippee!

Any addiction is powerful. Food. Drink. Drugs. Sex. For this creature; writing is a very strong addiction.

For years the need to express and finding outlets via so many forums and sites.

Poetry Circle was nice in that the surroundings were wolves in sheep’s clothing. The best thing about that site is they do have wonderful tools for a writer to use, other than  that they are too much a representative of what’s wrong with this world of writers/writing. If you’re a reader/writer that really like to be a part of a well organized mob of writers you should join and embrace all the lovely folks there, just watch your back as wolves looooove to eat sheep…

Creator and Catalyst run by Mark is/was a wonderful place to create though currently Mark is having a spiritual battle within himself. I do admire his dedication to writers though.

Now the website- Aphelion- most excellent! Highly recommend that place for writers wanting to expand, create, and be. It was amazing they tolerated my crap and for this I will forever be thankful.

Yes, this new venue is going to be fun as you’re going to get not only the insight of a monster but you’re going to see clarification of what is going on in your world behind the ‘scenes’. A whole lot of shit most don’t realize is going on. Magic. Witchcraft. ‘Alien’ life. Druids. Time travel. Religion. Good. Evil. God. Satan.  Life. Death. Hate. Love. Deception on a grand  scale along with what is real. ( plus as an added bonus free of charge… your mind will be exposed to subliminal activity which has no ‘earthly’ words to describe.)

“Sounds like you’re crazy Robin, daresay, nuts?”

Ah, there you are parasite. Welcome to this new home. How do you like it?

“It sucks, just like you.”

Yes parasite, just like me, just like you…

“Must admit though, those new bags of potato chips were what lured me to come over here. That new spicy one is great.”

Yes reader this is going to be fun as it might even be entertaining for some. So much to write about and is there time to write it all? Ah yes, time. Always it comes down (never up) to time. The answer of course: Yes. All the time in the ‘world’.

And now, since there are a lot of words bottled up inside, time for a release.

***

Dreams

Nightmares to scream as your sheets soak in sweat as the body crashes to the ground

Blood, gore, pain, it seems the bodies way for the mind to be

Bodies sweating; moaning lust of bliss; sensual pleasures beyond the awake – wet these dreams.

To awake to forget the recent scenes

Some dream of bliss, of better days, of success, of love, of joy, happiness

wishful scenes.

Asleep the R.E.M. provides Awake there is the ‘reality’

Really?

What is a dream?

What is a nightmare?

Angel guidance or Demons please?

Understand you cannot understand the answers as you can only dream

Only you can think you know the answers

But can you see what’s looking back?

God? Satan? Reality? Logic?

or are there names for that you cannot understand?

of course the answer is

yes.

My heart is ice cold and blacker than any demons soul

yet

warmer and  bright than any angels birthright

so?

For a monster there are no nightmares to forget, no moments of happiness or bliss to experience…

There is only the Dream, always

the Dream.

Cold

Embrace fully the frosty lips of mistress winter

Breasts hard this nippled basalt

Fingers of frozen tree unbending, ungiving

Lost heat of watery thigh meandering

Sun above to feel the freeze

Moon to laugh in reply

A man left standing alone, his heart frozen

Lovers watched inside the warm home

Standing next to the fire

Never to know.

Interesting how we know a bird has been someplace, anyplace…all by the evidence of the shit they drop. Now, some people (most people) hate bird shit, but not me. I love bird shit, I love a lot, in fact (get used to my shitty way of torturing the written word format) I know the insides and out of any form of love and let me tell you what, Love and love is/are great, AND and and a-n-d…they suck, much like bird shit.

My nickname is bigbird, my name is Robin, my name means nothing as I truly am a monster, a monster unlike you’ve never seen before.

What you will read here will be strange, offensive to many if not all, it is real, true, it is the mirror reflection of what i am, what I show the world, this shitty world.

Sometimes what you read will make this writer seem insane or stupid or genius or whatever, and that will be because of who YOU are. It does not matter only that i and I get this shit out of my head.

Now, I and i am no stranger to writing. I’ve written books no one will read, poetry that some have waded through, short stories here and there, even had a website, but that is all history. This is what is to be written now, this experiment of your world, your life, your will…You and you and you and even that shithead picking his balls over in Israel. This blog is all about you as monsters have nothing inside but ice.

Some basic outlines for what you will read in the following days/centuries/lifetimes… 1. Poetry 2. Stories 3. Ramblings 4. Pictures

Strong words of profanity will be used as they are real emotions captured and meant to be used by those who truly know how to use them, not abuse them like so many of you abuse fucking and love. The way ‘proper’ use of the English language will be abused to the point of breaking.

The pictures you will see here will be taken by my horrible skills of holding a camera or drawn by hands of a Monster.

If you enjoy what is here, great, if not, great.

Hold your life in your hands, make your Life what you can truly make it be,

and so,

the experiment continues…