You may be familiar with a classic story for children regarding a little girl named, Goldilocks who visits a home of momma bear, papa bear, and baby bear. A story about porridge and beds.

Well, this story is the same except when the bears came home they discovered they had been followed by a dragon who blew a mighty fire wind and leveled the home and fried the bears and the little girl.

Afterwards the dragon flew back home where he could practice his violin and the lack of progress was making him grumpy, which is why he destroyed the ‘three bears’ story.

Meanwhile, back at the incinerated carnage, a raven found the charred remains of the girl and bears. Tasting the bear the raven said, “This one is too hot.”

Hopping over to the next pile of goo the raven tasted and said, “This one is too cold.”

Finally, plucking out one of Goldilocks eyeballs, the raven said, “This one is just right,” and gobbled both orbs all up.

The End (of insanity)

and the beginning of (oh shit)