Been studying people for a long time. Will continue studying people for long time. Very interesting study indeed.

During this life there have been two moments there was the feeling of love that intruded upon my studies. This was a most amazing feeling. It was exciting and refreshing. It was energy. And then, it became horrible and painful. But, definitely a high point of education into the human condition.

People are a strange lot. Playing games. Playing at being adults or children. Opinionated. Opportunistic. Creative. All-in-all, definitely worth studying.

Television is one window into other peoples lives be they fictional or fantasy. Work is another. Recreation, another. So many windows and views.

Lately been reading from an author that is interesting. Talk of love, of sex, of passions, of all that seems so wonderful. And yet, what will be the ending for such. Pain? Anger? Hurt? Happiness? Joy?

That is not for me to say as I’m as cold as ice and when ice is exposed to heat, it usually melts, but this shell around me only gets more cold, more thick, and this is not really what it should be, but it is.

To study or be studied, one in the same really. But, as the world turns, there is much to study, much to watch, and many emotions left to turn into a cold dagger of ice. It is, what it is.

However, thank God there is more than this world to be in and find comfort. It is in that world i call my world where there is warmth and peace. A place where humans are not allowed. A place i call, Home.

*

Tried a path so very well traveled, tripping over stone and way

Finding such amazing and wonderful energies

With laughter and smile

making what some say are,

friends.

 

In school to meet only to see them move away

Growing up and see them become other things

Such anger and hate covered with a thin veneer of self

Men fucking

Women fucking

calling such, love…

is love real?

 

It is

to me

 

and yet

for this wor4ld, just another illusion, another play, a story

where for now just another form of pain.