There is a television show called, Shark Tank. It actually is an entertaining bit of television with some fun drama.

For those not familiar with the show, it deals with ‘Sharks’ who are actual successful business women and men. There are many guest Sharks on the show but the main characters are, Robert Herjavec, Kevin Leary, Mark Cuban Lori Greiner, Barbara Corloran, and John Daymond.

So, the Sharks are the investors and main ‘players’ who listen to the other characters… those people with idea’s for products and wanting publicity and for the Sharks to invest in their dreams and ideas…

A perfect show and perfect fodder for the inspiration of the following. (I suggest you watch an episode of, Shark Tank first and then read the following…) Enjoy.

***

Shark Tank

(just another episode of reality)

Tonight’s episode shows two groups of people who arrived and tried to seduce the sharks into investing in their respective products. The first was a solar powered tooth brush and the second was an invention that would turn water into wine in only thirty minutes. Both products were dismissed by the sharks. The third and final appearance was now set to enter the ‘tank’.

The television music set the scene for the next entry. Sitting in their chairs, the sharks sat silently waiting for the doors to open.

Usually the engineers editing the show only allow a few seconds until the next act comes in. This time however, they let everything unfold. Almost as if they had lost control of the filming and episode.

First one minute passed, and then two, and finally after three minutes had passed it became apparent that the sharks were getting agitated.

“What’s going on? Is there a problem,” Mark Cuban asked Kevin Leary who sat next to him.

“I don’t know, maybe the next one has cold feet.”

In the actual filming of shows, much is edited, especially comments that take away from the reality. In this case, Lori Greiner turned to the director and said, “So, what’s up? Are we going to film this or not?”

The director was speechless, almost as if he were made of stone.

Finally, a gruffy, scruffy character entered the room. There was no music, no fanfare, nothing but an appearance of a man wearing old raggy clothing, dirty shoes. He sauntered up and stood in front of the sharks, of which all now wore the look of shock upon their faces.

Sticking his finger into his nose and rooting around for boogers the man finally found success, and taking the dusty chunk of ‘nose gold’ he popped it into his mouth.

“Hey! Is this some kind of joke?” Mark exclaimed.

Robert Leary just sat there and started laughing.

John looked stunned.

The rest of the sharks expressed various combinations of the above.

“Hi, my names Bob.” The man said with a smile as he sat down on the floor and sitting with crossed legs looked up at the  sharks and then said, “So, what do you want to invest in?”

Mark, the most vocal of the sharks, said, “Why are you here? Did someone send you to prank us? Is this all a joke?”

“No. No joke. I just thought I’d stop by and see what you all really want to invest in…”

Barbara Corloran asked, “Okay Bob, I’ll play. What is it you are offering?”

There was silence in the stage prop now. What looked like a room was actually nothing more than a stage. The camera people were silent. The director was silent. The sharks were silent. All across the world that had people tuned into, Shark Tank, were silent…

With a big smile now, Bob replied to Barbara, “I’m offering whatever it is you want. So, what do you want to invest in Barbara?”

A nervous laugh came from Barbara. Not only from the strangeness of Bob, but also because the zipper on Bob’s pants were unzipped and Bob’s underwear showed the world that Bob wore pink boxer shorts. Yet, she tried to play along and said, “I’d like to fly…”

“I see…” Bob said. He then turned to Robert and asked. “So Robert, what would you like to invest in?”

Bob said, “This is nuts. You’re the one that is supposed to show us an idea and dream, not us. This is crazy. You’re crazy. This is all a joke.”

“No. No joke Robert. What is it in this world that you’d like to invest in?”

“I want to invest in a method that changes sand into gold.” Robert said with a sneer.

“Okay. Got it. So Mark? What about you?”

“I want to invest in making you disappear. My time is too important to waste on this crap.”

“Yep. Got it. And you Kevin?”

“I want to be young.”

“Okay Kevin. The fountain of youth. The liquid of life.  And you John, care to invest in anything?”

“I want to solve poverty through business opportunities for all the poor people”

“Mmm, interesting. Okay.  And Lori, you’re the last shark, what about you? Care to invest in anything?

“You know Bob, this is some really crazy shit going on right now. I don’t ,now if we’re being punked, played, and the butt of some kind of joke, but I’ll play your game. I want to just find out what’s going on and who you are. How about that? I’ll even offer a dime to find out…”

With a laugh, Bob stood up and brushed some dust off his trousers and the  zipped up his pants. The room became silent again. “Excellent! What fun. Alright. Lets get down to business.”

“First, Barbara, this is a sample for you to pique your interest.” And with a wave of his dirty hand, he pointed at Barbara where a tiny spark flew from his hand and it floated over to her, where upon contact, she levitated from her chair and she became stuck on the ceiling, bouncing around the electric cables and lights. Her screams were real and sincere.

“And for you Robert, everything you touch will now turn to gold.” With the same gesture of hand and similar spark, Robert too, screamed as the chair he was sitting on turned to gold, and then everything else he touched as he ran from the room. Soon he would die of hunger and thirst as everything he touched turned to gold.

“Kevin, enjoy your childhood,” And Kevin was no longer an adult. He was now a squalling infant and would remain that way forever.

“John, your investment choice was excellent. Good for you. Because of you millions of poor people will now find success…” And out in the world, already the many millions were busy finding success.

“As  to your investment choice Lori, a wise investment and your dime will be put to good use. So, to answer you, my name is Bob. I need nothing from this world. You all however, are of this world and need. Some of you chose wisely. Most did not. Choice is a wonderful gift. Enjoy this knowledge world and invest wisely going forward,” Bob said as he turned his gaze to the camera’s beaming the show across the world.

“And finally Mark, your investment was a natural one fitting for your world. You wanted me to disappear and so I shall. But first, know this. There are bigger sharks in the sea…”

With a loud laugh and clap of his hands, Bob disappeared leaving behind a blue spark floating brightly in the air, only to soon fade in color and disappear, leaving the world to wonder now as to what the heck just happened.