School was torture though not in the, ‘Sit up or I’ll beat your ass,’ kind of torture. For me it was mentally horrible to sit through hours and hours, year after year, listening to teachers. But who gives a fuck about me, for sure not anyone else except my dogs.

Lately I’m in a whining mode. Normally I could give a shit but this last year has really worn on me and it is good to indulge in a little, ‘me’ time.

You see, I fell in love… Biiiig mistake because just as school was torture for me, so too this ‘love’ crap. Yikes. Poetry written, and all the rest and for what? To  end up where I am now and miserable. Of course I deserve to feel miserable as I have made those around me, including those I love, to feel miserable. Guess the whole, ‘misery loves company’ comes to mind.

I do love to write though. Feeling the fingers releasing the mind filled with random mush. It feels great. Sometimes the hours flow by so fast it is totally amazing to see ten hours go by and a manuscript of some kind of weird shit unfold in a story of whatever.

Tonight I’m indulging myself and it feels good.

Along with writing now I’ve opened a new bag of BBQ potato chips. There is a store in Riggin’s that sold them on sale for .99. What a score. Should have bought an entire box.

On the television I put on CNN just to see people more miserable than me and man are those bastards a miserable, sorry lot to be sure. They try to give news but only spout some party line of whatever it is sorry, miserable bastards spout.

The weather today was great. One minute snow and then rain and then sun and then clouds and then mud and then dry. It all was good and what is not good as just in the past few minutes I’m feeling better. This is entirely due to the joy I get from typing.

Speaking of typing, that is one skill I actually enjoyed learning in school. Amazing how fast a person can type on an electronic keyboard versus the old IBM antiques. And now there is spell check instead of having to use white out.

Lately been noticing a lot of birds called Chukar’s coming around the house. They are a social lot and it is fun to listen and watch them interact. And then just when they are feeling at home, out go the corgi’s and ‘Swoosh,’ off they fly with two retarded dogs chasing.

Busy building a home for a man moving here from Florida. It will be a nice home and much progress can now be made now that the cold/snowy shit is almost over. Lots of work now and this is good as work is the second thing I really like. Writing is number one and work is number two. Fishing would be number three. And through all of it I really love to observe and study this world we’re trapped in. Amazing to study the small things.

Tonight I’m gonna sleep like crazy. Last night the main dream was of a freezer thawing, full of food that all spoiled. Yet, at the same time there was a very severe freeze. One picture in particular was of a farming disk filled completely with frozen mud. It was an interesting dream for sure.

Currently Michael Moore is on CNN. I feel sorry for him, his faith in this world is crazy. My faith in this world is, z-e-r-o. Can you imagine? A world filled with nothing but eat or be eaten. Kill or be killed. This is a giant world of death and I wish I were not on it.

Wouldn’t it be fun to be on a world where you could write, work, and fish without worry? It would be fantastic.

Oh well, at least feeling better now. Writing does that to me, and tonight it was good to indulge myself. Now I can go back to thinking about others, and write about it.